I've had long hair for most of my life. My mom made me cut it from waist-length to chin-length when I was 12, but I immediately started growing it right back out. By the time I was 14, it was back to my waist. Since then, I've kept it between the middle of my back and my hips, preferring it slightly past the middle of my back.
Last week, I decided it was time for a trim since I hadn't gotten it cut in a while. I debated cutting it shorter than normal, and I finally settled on right around my shoulder blades. I did some research and realized that I had enough to donate it to one of those organizations that makes wigs for people. I called around to a few salons, and none of them participated, so I decided to cut my hair myself.
This was my first mistake. There's a reason I'm in law school and not cosmetology school. I shouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors. I planned on cutting off 8 inches, the minimum needed for donation. I measured wrong and ended up with 12 inches. My hair was uneven and just past shoulder length.
Enter my second mistake: excessive frugality. I usually go to Supercuts or Great Clips to get my hair cut. I can get a cut and shampoo for $15-20. Well, I decided that I didn't want to spend that much, so I called the local beauty college. They were running a special for $5. I had gone to the beauty college before for other services and I was pleased, so I figured I would give it a try.
I went in and asked just to have it evened out, but to keep my hair as long as possible. The student began clipping away. She clipped, and clipped, and kept clipping. I reminded her that I didn't want a lot cut off. She was dividing it into sections and trying to give me layers. When I told her I didn't want layers, she mumbled something about school rules. Then she tried to give me bangs. I grew my bangs out when I was 12 and my mom finally wasn't making me have them anymore. I've never looked back.
To make a long story even longer, I managed to get out of there without layers or bangs, but I lost another 3 inches of hair. It now barely touches the tops of my shoulders when it has been straightened. I shudder to think how short it's going to be when I let it go curly again. Now I'll have to figure out how to fix my hair. I can't put it up in a bun or a braid anymore, and those were two of my favorite styles. I have it in a headband to keep it out of my face, but I'm quickly running out of ideas.
At least it will grow back.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Grand Plans for Christmas Break
A few days ago, I just finished finals for the semester, and I'm experiencing a mixture of emotions as a result. Suffice it to say I'm relieved/concerned/tired/drained/relieved/penitent/relieved. I have a month off from school, so I have some grand plans.
1. Clean my apartment from top to bottom. Housekeeping has kind of slipped the past few weeks, and I find myself staring at/tripping over barely controlled chaos. Truth be told, it will probably only stay tidy for a week or so, but I can try. (Curse the Second Law of Thermodynamics...)
2. Get caught up on reading for fun. I've already started this one. On Friday, I read Anthem by Ayn Rand. I liked it better than The Fountainhead, but not as well as Atlas Shrugged. I plan on reading, in no particular order, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Steven Dubner, and Restoring the Lost Constitution by Randy Barnett.
3. Write. I guess by doing this blog post, I've gotten started at this one as well.
4. Go job hunting. I'm tired of temping. I need stability and I want to use my training. If you know of any lawyers who are looking for a paralegal, I'm looking for a job.
5. Practice the recorder. I've been letting my music slip by the wayside. I was talking with the orchestra last night at intermission, and I think I'm going to play with them next year. Soprano choral singers are a dime a dozen, but I would be the only tenor recorder in the orchestra. (I would play the music of the second oboe, which would work great because there is only one oboe now.)
So, this is my list of plans. What will probably happen is that I'll sleep in, stay in my pajamas until noon, and snuggle up with my cat to watch television re-runs. I can dream big, though.
1. Clean my apartment from top to bottom. Housekeeping has kind of slipped the past few weeks, and I find myself staring at/tripping over barely controlled chaos. Truth be told, it will probably only stay tidy for a week or so, but I can try. (Curse the Second Law of Thermodynamics...)
2. Get caught up on reading for fun. I've already started this one. On Friday, I read Anthem by Ayn Rand. I liked it better than The Fountainhead, but not as well as Atlas Shrugged. I plan on reading, in no particular order, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Steven Dubner, and Restoring the Lost Constitution by Randy Barnett.
3. Write. I guess by doing this blog post, I've gotten started at this one as well.
4. Go job hunting. I'm tired of temping. I need stability and I want to use my training. If you know of any lawyers who are looking for a paralegal, I'm looking for a job.
5. Practice the recorder. I've been letting my music slip by the wayside. I was talking with the orchestra last night at intermission, and I think I'm going to play with them next year. Soprano choral singers are a dime a dozen, but I would be the only tenor recorder in the orchestra. (I would play the music of the second oboe, which would work great because there is only one oboe now.)
So, this is my list of plans. What will probably happen is that I'll sleep in, stay in my pajamas until noon, and snuggle up with my cat to watch television re-runs. I can dream big, though.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
How the Cat Stole Christmas
I love decorating for Christmas. When I was growing up, my parents always had an artificial tree. The year I moved out, they got a new tree, so they gave me their old one, which was about 10 years old. I used it the first year and contemplated giving it away after that because it was starting to show its age. Being a poor grad student, however, I decided to make it last for another year. So, I used it last year with no problems. I once again thought about giving it away, but I decided to make it last for yet another year.
I live in a small apartment with 4 other people, 2 cats, and a chihuahua, so storage space is a bit limited. I store my tree at my parents' house in the off-season. On Thursday, after Thanksgiving dinner, I loaded the tree into my car and headed home. I set the tree up that night, and I realized that I should have given it away last year. It looked sad and worn. When I wasn't looking, my roommate's kitten, Pumpkin, managed to climb up into the tree, bend the branches, and knock other branches out of place. I removed him and began to string up the lights. He climbed back up and we played this game for over an hour.
I finally got the tree put together with the lights strung up, and then I went to bed. I didn't get around to putting up ornaments until Sunday, and Pumpkin pretty much left them alone. I finished putting up the ornaments on Monday night. Yesterday morning, one of my roommates (not Pumpkin's owner) said that Pumpkin had climbed up into the tree, knocked the ornaments down, and batted them around on the floor like cat toys. Later in the day, I saw him do the same thing, and he even broke one of my ornaments. (Fortunately, it was a cheap one that I didn't care much about.) He kept knocking branches down, and I was so frustrated that I took the tree down and put the furniture back where it belonged.
I called my mom and asked if I could borrow her little display tree that she used back in the day when she sold Christmas ornaments at craft fairs. She said yes. I now have a tiny 1 1/2 foot tree sitting on an end table with 6 ornaments and a string of lights. Pumpkin started batting at that one, too, but then I stuck some peppermint leaves in the tree and he hasn't touched it since. I just wish I had known about that little trick before I took the big tree down.
Oh, and I gave the big tree to the thrift store last night. Hopefully it will brighten someone else's Christmas.
I live in a small apartment with 4 other people, 2 cats, and a chihuahua, so storage space is a bit limited. I store my tree at my parents' house in the off-season. On Thursday, after Thanksgiving dinner, I loaded the tree into my car and headed home. I set the tree up that night, and I realized that I should have given it away last year. It looked sad and worn. When I wasn't looking, my roommate's kitten, Pumpkin, managed to climb up into the tree, bend the branches, and knock other branches out of place. I removed him and began to string up the lights. He climbed back up and we played this game for over an hour.
I finally got the tree put together with the lights strung up, and then I went to bed. I didn't get around to putting up ornaments until Sunday, and Pumpkin pretty much left them alone. I finished putting up the ornaments on Monday night. Yesterday morning, one of my roommates (not Pumpkin's owner) said that Pumpkin had climbed up into the tree, knocked the ornaments down, and batted them around on the floor like cat toys. Later in the day, I saw him do the same thing, and he even broke one of my ornaments. (Fortunately, it was a cheap one that I didn't care much about.) He kept knocking branches down, and I was so frustrated that I took the tree down and put the furniture back where it belonged.
I called my mom and asked if I could borrow her little display tree that she used back in the day when she sold Christmas ornaments at craft fairs. She said yes. I now have a tiny 1 1/2 foot tree sitting on an end table with 6 ornaments and a string of lights. Pumpkin started batting at that one, too, but then I stuck some peppermint leaves in the tree and he hasn't touched it since. I just wish I had known about that little trick before I took the big tree down.
Oh, and I gave the big tree to the thrift store last night. Hopefully it will brighten someone else's Christmas.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Karaoke
Last week was my sister's birthday, and we went out as a family to a hibachi grill. (The kind where the chef plays with your food at the table.) The chef wasn't as entertaining as some are, but he was a better cook than most, so the food was excellent. It was karaoke night, so Jen and I decided to sing.
Background: I was in the opera in college and I've taken years of voice lessons and I sing semi-professionally, although I sing less frequently now because of school and work demands.
There is a dearth of pop music written for sopranos, but I decided to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I was pretty bad, to be honest. (Although, I was better than most people. I had the advantage of being sober.) My timing was off, and I was apparently hard to hear, even with the microphone. I had fun anyway, and that's what counts. Jen sang Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves, and she was great. She could give Cher a run for her money.
Background: I was in the opera in college and I've taken years of voice lessons and I sing semi-professionally, although I sing less frequently now because of school and work demands.
There is a dearth of pop music written for sopranos, but I decided to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I was pretty bad, to be honest. (Although, I was better than most people. I had the advantage of being sober.) My timing was off, and I was apparently hard to hear, even with the microphone. I had fun anyway, and that's what counts. Jen sang Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves, and she was great. She could give Cher a run for her money.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love getting together with friends and family and celebrating all of the many things we have to be grateful for. I'm of course grateful for the traditional things like food, clothing, shelter, family, liberty, etc. However, what follows is a lighthearted list of things I'm grateful for.
1. I'm grateful that my cat, unlike my roommate's cat, is not inclined to scale the screen door.
2. I'm grateful that I now have a magnetic cat door that will allow my cat into my bedroom, but will not allow my roommate's cat in.
3. I'm grateful that the construction at my apartment complex is nearly finished and may be done sometime before the turn of the century.
4. I'm grateful that my inability to afford cable has granted me the opportunity to try to learn Spanish. (I have an antenna, and most of the channels I can pick up are in Spanish. I think the only English channels I can get are ABC and PBS.)
5. I'm grateful that the trackpad and trackball on my laptop are working today.
6. I'm grateful that somebody will read this blog entry and comment on it. (Hint, hint...)
Have a happy Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for? (Serious or lighthearted, it's all good.)
1. I'm grateful that my cat, unlike my roommate's cat, is not inclined to scale the screen door.
2. I'm grateful that I now have a magnetic cat door that will allow my cat into my bedroom, but will not allow my roommate's cat in.
3. I'm grateful that the construction at my apartment complex is nearly finished and may be done sometime before the turn of the century.
4. I'm grateful that my inability to afford cable has granted me the opportunity to try to learn Spanish. (I have an antenna, and most of the channels I can pick up are in Spanish. I think the only English channels I can get are ABC and PBS.)
5. I'm grateful that the trackpad and trackball on my laptop are working today.
6. I'm grateful that somebody will read this blog entry and comment on it. (Hint, hint...)
Have a happy Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for? (Serious or lighthearted, it's all good.)
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Out of Gas
Literally, not metaphorically...
I'm a terrible procrastinator. I keep trying to overcome it, but it pays off just often enough to remove the incentive to stop. However, it did not pay off yesterday.
I'm usually pretty good about filling my car up with gas. When I have a quarter tank left, I fill up. I get excellent gas mileage, so I can let it go for longer, but since I work weird hours in sketchy areas, I don't usually push my luck.
Thursday morning, I noticed that I only had a quarter tank of gas left, so I figured I would stop at the bank and then the gas station on my way into school. (The gas station I go to gives a discount for paying in cash.) I was running late that afternoon, so I didn't stop by on my way to class. On my way home, I decided that I was too tired and that it was late, so I decided to push off filling up to the next morning. I went home and looked for parking. Since my roommate hogs the parking spot, I had to circle the (very large) block a few times before finding a spot. I parked my car and trudged to my apartment.
In the morning, I decided to go to the library to check out some books. (Real live novels, not textbooks. I feel so decadent.) I walked out to my car and got in. I turned the key, and my car wouldn't start. My car is really old, and the battery dies frequently, so I figured that was the problem. Then I realized that the radio and the lights worked, so it couldn't be the battery. I thought about calling AAA, but then it dawned on me that I might be out of gas. Fortunately, there is a gas station about a block away from my apartment. I grabbed my wallet and trudged up the street.
When I got there, I bought a gas can, filled it with a gallon of gas, and walked back home. I put the gas in my car, and sure enough, the car started. I promptly stopped for gas before running my errands.
I'm just glad that if I had to run out of gas, that it was in broad daylight in front of my apartment complex on a day when I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. This could have been much worse. Now, I'm going to be extra vigilant about filling up when I get low.
I'm a terrible procrastinator. I keep trying to overcome it, but it pays off just often enough to remove the incentive to stop. However, it did not pay off yesterday.
I'm usually pretty good about filling my car up with gas. When I have a quarter tank left, I fill up. I get excellent gas mileage, so I can let it go for longer, but since I work weird hours in sketchy areas, I don't usually push my luck.
Thursday morning, I noticed that I only had a quarter tank of gas left, so I figured I would stop at the bank and then the gas station on my way into school. (The gas station I go to gives a discount for paying in cash.) I was running late that afternoon, so I didn't stop by on my way to class. On my way home, I decided that I was too tired and that it was late, so I decided to push off filling up to the next morning. I went home and looked for parking. Since my roommate hogs the parking spot, I had to circle the (very large) block a few times before finding a spot. I parked my car and trudged to my apartment.
In the morning, I decided to go to the library to check out some books. (Real live novels, not textbooks. I feel so decadent.) I walked out to my car and got in. I turned the key, and my car wouldn't start. My car is really old, and the battery dies frequently, so I figured that was the problem. Then I realized that the radio and the lights worked, so it couldn't be the battery. I thought about calling AAA, but then it dawned on me that I might be out of gas. Fortunately, there is a gas station about a block away from my apartment. I grabbed my wallet and trudged up the street.
When I got there, I bought a gas can, filled it with a gallon of gas, and walked back home. I put the gas in my car, and sure enough, the car started. I promptly stopped for gas before running my errands.
I'm just glad that if I had to run out of gas, that it was in broad daylight in front of my apartment complex on a day when I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. This could have been much worse. Now, I'm going to be extra vigilant about filling up when I get low.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Cleaning Disk Drives
Note to self: When you clean a disk, that is not to be interpreted literally.
I got up at 4:00 am this morning to finish my term paper that was due at 5:30 pm today. I worked all day, and I did my laundry while I was working. Well, around 11:00, I went to switch my load. I heard some rattling at the bottom of the washing machine, and I fished out my flash drive. I dried it off and put it in my computer. All files are present and accounted for, thankfully. I think I need a nap.
I got up at 4:00 am this morning to finish my term paper that was due at 5:30 pm today. I worked all day, and I did my laundry while I was working. Well, around 11:00, I went to switch my load. I heard some rattling at the bottom of the washing machine, and I fished out my flash drive. I dried it off and put it in my computer. All files are present and accounted for, thankfully. I think I need a nap.
Friday, November 7, 2008
It's a Hardware Problem
My dad is a software engineer, so whenever he can't fix something, he proclaims it to be a hardware problem, and thus not his department. I'm a political scientist, not a computer scientist, but in this technological age, I've had to learn my fair share about computers. I've never had any formal training (except for the typing class I had to take in high school), but I've managed to pick it up quite well.
When my laptop died last year, my dad and one other computer engineer said that it was toast and that I would have to buy a new one. Since I was (and still am) on a student budget (seriously, grad students are even poorer than undergrads), I was determined to fix it. It turns out that my hard drive was scratched and all I had to do was replace it. No problem. I took care of it in under an hour. (Well, under an hour once I diagnosed the problem...it took me a lot longer than that to figure out what the problem was.)
Computer knowledge is a blessing and a liability. On the blessing side, I can set up and manage my wireless network without paying anyone else to do it. On the other hand, once people find out my hidden talent, they are forever asking me to fix their computers.
This is especially pronounced at work. I provide in-home care for disabled adults. My two clients share an apartment, and I come in on the weekend to provide care. There are other staff members who come in during the week. There is an internet connection available for staff use. Somehow, I ended up as the de-facto network administrator.
Sometime during the week, some of the staff members had moved the telephones in the apartment. When I arrived this evening, the person I was relieving said that for some unknown reason, the computer was broken, and she asked me to take a look at it. I did, and the computer was fine. However, the internet connection was down. I couldn't find any reason why it should have been down. The computer had a good connection to the router, and the router had a good connection to the modem. I checked all plugs, and then on a whim, I walked out to the kitchen. Sure enough, the spare phone had been plugged into the wall without a DSL filter. I unplugged the spare phone, and, voila! Internet access.
Lesson of the day: When in doubt, it's a hardware problem.
When my laptop died last year, my dad and one other computer engineer said that it was toast and that I would have to buy a new one. Since I was (and still am) on a student budget (seriously, grad students are even poorer than undergrads), I was determined to fix it. It turns out that my hard drive was scratched and all I had to do was replace it. No problem. I took care of it in under an hour. (Well, under an hour once I diagnosed the problem...it took me a lot longer than that to figure out what the problem was.)
Computer knowledge is a blessing and a liability. On the blessing side, I can set up and manage my wireless network without paying anyone else to do it. On the other hand, once people find out my hidden talent, they are forever asking me to fix their computers.
This is especially pronounced at work. I provide in-home care for disabled adults. My two clients share an apartment, and I come in on the weekend to provide care. There are other staff members who come in during the week. There is an internet connection available for staff use. Somehow, I ended up as the de-facto network administrator.
Sometime during the week, some of the staff members had moved the telephones in the apartment. When I arrived this evening, the person I was relieving said that for some unknown reason, the computer was broken, and she asked me to take a look at it. I did, and the computer was fine. However, the internet connection was down. I couldn't find any reason why it should have been down. The computer had a good connection to the router, and the router had a good connection to the modem. I checked all plugs, and then on a whim, I walked out to the kitchen. Sure enough, the spare phone had been plugged into the wall without a DSL filter. I unplugged the spare phone, and, voila! Internet access.
Lesson of the day: When in doubt, it's a hardware problem.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Vote!
I promised that this blog wouldn't be serious, so I'll start with my public service announcement and then follow it up with levity.
Today is election day. Our forefathers and foremothers sacrificed greatly so that we could have the right to vote. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain.
Now, for a bit of humor...A few years ago, I stumbled across a website called "Nobody for President". After all, Nobody can be trusted to keep his campaign promises.
Nobody will promise to end the war in Iraq!
Nobody promises to give power back to the citizens!
Nobody will promise to stop spying on Americans!
Nobody will promise to end corruption in the Government!
Nobody will promise to run on a platform of Peace!
Nobody will promise to stop government subsidies!
Nobody promises to cut Military Spending!
Nobody promises to reform our Election Process!
Nobody promises to create a lasting Peace in the Middle East!
Nobody promises to end the War on Drugs!
So, on this election day, go out and vote. Nobody will make you!
Today is election day. Our forefathers and foremothers sacrificed greatly so that we could have the right to vote. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain.
Now, for a bit of humor...A few years ago, I stumbled across a website called "Nobody for President". After all, Nobody can be trusted to keep his campaign promises.
Nobody will promise to end the war in Iraq!
Nobody promises to give power back to the citizens!
Nobody will promise to stop spying on Americans!
Nobody will promise to end corruption in the Government!
Nobody will promise to run on a platform of Peace!
Nobody will promise to stop government subsidies!
Nobody promises to cut Military Spending!
Nobody promises to reform our Election Process!
Nobody promises to create a lasting Peace in the Middle East!
Nobody promises to end the War on Drugs!
So, on this election day, go out and vote. Nobody will make you!
Monday, November 3, 2008
How to Make Your Own Charcoal...
...In Seven Easy Steps:
Step 1: Purchase a thrift-store toaster oven with the toast setting broken. This will allow you to make toast only using the broil setting. If you use a toaster, or a toaster oven with a functioning toast setting, your charcoal will be underdone.
Step 2: Place your bread in the oven, and turn the oven to broil.
Step 3: Get distracted.
Step 4: Completely forget that you have bread in the oven. Check your e-mail, play with your cat, and get in the shower.
Step 5: About 30 seconds after you've stepped into the shower, remember your toast. (Be sure your waist-length hair is good and wet for this to work best.)
Step 6: Grab a towel, wrap up in it, and frantically run to the kitchen.
Step 7: Turn off the toaster oven.
Presto! You have charcoal.
Fortunately, it didn't catch fire. It was close, though--smoke was billowing out of my toaster oven, and the cats were staring at it with a mild degree of alarm. I guess I have more on my mind than I realized. (I get absent-minded when I'm under stress. Finals are approaching.)
Step 1: Purchase a thrift-store toaster oven with the toast setting broken. This will allow you to make toast only using the broil setting. If you use a toaster, or a toaster oven with a functioning toast setting, your charcoal will be underdone.
Step 2: Place your bread in the oven, and turn the oven to broil.
Step 3: Get distracted.
Step 4: Completely forget that you have bread in the oven. Check your e-mail, play with your cat, and get in the shower.
Step 5: About 30 seconds after you've stepped into the shower, remember your toast. (Be sure your waist-length hair is good and wet for this to work best.)
Step 6: Grab a towel, wrap up in it, and frantically run to the kitchen.
Step 7: Turn off the toaster oven.
Presto! You have charcoal.
Fortunately, it didn't catch fire. It was close, though--smoke was billowing out of my toaster oven, and the cats were staring at it with a mild degree of alarm. I guess I have more on my mind than I realized. (I get absent-minded when I'm under stress. Finals are approaching.)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Law School Humor
Here's some background: Lawyers use funny words like "heretofore", "whereas", etc. There is a movement in the profession to eliminate this language. However, a request to the court is still called a "prayer". (This is not meant as any form of sacrilege; it's a holdover from mid-English, meaning a request.)
In my legal writing and research class, we had an open question and answer session in preparation for the final paper. The professor was reminding us that when we write, to avoid legalese. One of my classmates said, "Then, why do we still pray?"
Before the professor could reply, I piped up with, "Because we're going to need all the help we can get on this paper."
I got a good laugh out of the class.
In my legal writing and research class, we had an open question and answer session in preparation for the final paper. The professor was reminding us that when we write, to avoid legalese. One of my classmates said, "Then, why do we still pray?"
Before the professor could reply, I piped up with, "Because we're going to need all the help we can get on this paper."
I got a good laugh out of the class.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Funny T-shirts
I'm not really much of a t-shirt with sayings kind of person, but I do enjoy a good one now and then. (Jen is the queen of funny shirts. She could probably wear a different one each day for 2-3 weeks before repeating.) Anyway, I haven't bought any new clothes for longer than I can remember. (Most of my stuff comes from thrift stores.)
I saw one online last night that I'm seriously tempted to get. It read: Bad grammar makes me [sic]!
Another one I like that I might get says: Obey gravity. It's the law.
I saw one online last night that I'm seriously tempted to get. It read: Bad grammar makes me [sic]!
Another one I like that I might get says: Obey gravity. It's the law.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
I Think I'm Going to Paint My Car
My car is old. So old, in fact, that if it were a person, it would be old enough to vote. I drive a 1990 Toyota Camry with 255,000 miles on it. It's red, after a fashion. The car has needed a paint job since before I bought it. Every so often, I consider painting it, but I always toss out the idea because I figure the car won't be around much longer anyway. I've finally come to the conclusion that Toyotas are indestructible, so I might as well just do it.
I've been driving for 11 years, and I've had the privilege to drive 13 different vehicles. (This includes rental cars and business fleet cars.) The only car I've ever been pulled over in is my current car, where I've been pulled over 3 times in the past year. I wasn't breaking the law any of the times I was pulled over, and I wasn't ticketed. Unless the East Palo Alto police, the Fremont Police, and the California Highway Patrol are in some sort of conspiracy, it must be something about my car.
So, since my car needs a new paint job anyway, I'm asking you, my readers what color I should paint it.
I've been driving for 11 years, and I've had the privilege to drive 13 different vehicles. (This includes rental cars and business fleet cars.) The only car I've ever been pulled over in is my current car, where I've been pulled over 3 times in the past year. I wasn't breaking the law any of the times I was pulled over, and I wasn't ticketed. Unless the East Palo Alto police, the Fremont Police, and the California Highway Patrol are in some sort of conspiracy, it must be something about my car.
So, since my car needs a new paint job anyway, I'm asking you, my readers what color I should paint it.
Friday, October 10, 2008
An Open Letter to the California Highway Patrol
Dear California Highway Patrol,
Your officers have the guns. I understand that- that's why I had to bite my tongue as I was pulled over by one of your finest this evening while minding my own business. So, here it is, in all my sarcastic glory.
First, if you really must pull over a woman who is alone after dark, please find a better location than a dark frontage road off High Street in Oakland. This is a particularly dangerous area of an already dangerous city, an area that I never go to, only through. You claimed that you pulled me over "for my safety". I can see that the irony was lost on you. You had several options. After all, you had been tailgating me since San Leandro. I can only assume that you were beat up by a ninja as a teenager and thus have an aversion to anything Japanese, including my Toyota. Either that, or Santa Claus didn't give you any toys as a child, so you hate the color red.
Second, I know the economy is terrible right now, and people are losing jobs left and right. However, I really was on my way to work. Perhaps you were just annoyed to have to work on a Friday night and decided to give me grief to make yourself feel better. Well, you know what, I have to work on Friday nights, too. We're in the same boat, so let's not hassle one another.
Third, believe it or not, some people really don't drink. I was telling you the truth that I've never had an alcoholic beverage in my life. The strongest I've ever had is NyQuil, and that made me vomit. In fact, drinking is against my religion. Do you want to see my temple recommend to prove it?
Fourth, why would someone pretend to be coming from Fremont? I mean, come on, it's a pretty boring place. I bet you felt rather silly once you saw that the address on my drivers' license did indeed say that I live in Fremont.
Fifth, I've made an important discovery. The U.S. Constitution is like Police Kryptonite. I keep my car registration and proof of insurance inside a free copy provided by Lexis Nexis. Various other organizations provide free copies as well. Thank you for being my test subject. As soon as I brought it out to provide the requested documentation, I could see you freeze. Words like "probable cause" began to ring in your mind. It was entertaining to watch you backpedal while delivering a stern lecture just to save face.
I find it difficult to believe in these troubled times that you don't have some real criminals to harass. I suggest that you expend your efforts to apprehend them instead. That would be a much better way to secure my safety.
Sincerely,
A Taxpayer (i.e. someone who pays your salary)
Your officers have the guns. I understand that- that's why I had to bite my tongue as I was pulled over by one of your finest this evening while minding my own business. So, here it is, in all my sarcastic glory.
First, if you really must pull over a woman who is alone after dark, please find a better location than a dark frontage road off High Street in Oakland. This is a particularly dangerous area of an already dangerous city, an area that I never go to, only through. You claimed that you pulled me over "for my safety". I can see that the irony was lost on you. You had several options. After all, you had been tailgating me since San Leandro. I can only assume that you were beat up by a ninja as a teenager and thus have an aversion to anything Japanese, including my Toyota. Either that, or Santa Claus didn't give you any toys as a child, so you hate the color red.
Second, I know the economy is terrible right now, and people are losing jobs left and right. However, I really was on my way to work. Perhaps you were just annoyed to have to work on a Friday night and decided to give me grief to make yourself feel better. Well, you know what, I have to work on Friday nights, too. We're in the same boat, so let's not hassle one another.
Third, believe it or not, some people really don't drink. I was telling you the truth that I've never had an alcoholic beverage in my life. The strongest I've ever had is NyQuil, and that made me vomit. In fact, drinking is against my religion. Do you want to see my temple recommend to prove it?
Fourth, why would someone pretend to be coming from Fremont? I mean, come on, it's a pretty boring place. I bet you felt rather silly once you saw that the address on my drivers' license did indeed say that I live in Fremont.
Fifth, I've made an important discovery. The U.S. Constitution is like Police Kryptonite. I keep my car registration and proof of insurance inside a free copy provided by Lexis Nexis. Various other organizations provide free copies as well. Thank you for being my test subject. As soon as I brought it out to provide the requested documentation, I could see you freeze. Words like "probable cause" began to ring in your mind. It was entertaining to watch you backpedal while delivering a stern lecture just to save face.
I find it difficult to believe in these troubled times that you don't have some real criminals to harass. I suggest that you expend your efforts to apprehend them instead. That would be a much better way to secure my safety.
Sincerely,
A Taxpayer (i.e. someone who pays your salary)
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Word of the Day - Updated
Scene: Legal Writing and Research class
Last night, we were discussing legal analysis, and how to apply rules from multiple cases to a new case. The subject at issue was the importation of "invasive material", which is basically something like Kudzu - a non-native plant or animal that has the potential to choke out native species. In our hypothetical example, the defendant imported a female marsupial mouse.
The professor was trying to get us to think about the issue and he asked how a single mouse could reproduce. People threw out reasonable answers like finding a male marsupial mouse, or finding a male mouse of another variety and cross-breeding. One person blurted out "parthenogenesis!"
We all had a good laugh. I must admit that while I would expect to discuss parthenogenesis in a biology class or in the analysis of a bad science fiction film, I didn't expect to find it in law school.
Update: I just randomly stumbled across a news article stating that a shark in an aquarium in Omaha reproduced by parthenogenesis.
Last night, we were discussing legal analysis, and how to apply rules from multiple cases to a new case. The subject at issue was the importation of "invasive material", which is basically something like Kudzu - a non-native plant or animal that has the potential to choke out native species. In our hypothetical example, the defendant imported a female marsupial mouse.
The professor was trying to get us to think about the issue and he asked how a single mouse could reproduce. People threw out reasonable answers like finding a male marsupial mouse, or finding a male mouse of another variety and cross-breeding. One person blurted out "parthenogenesis!"
We all had a good laugh. I must admit that while I would expect to discuss parthenogenesis in a biology class or in the analysis of a bad science fiction film, I didn't expect to find it in law school.
Update: I just randomly stumbled across a news article stating that a shark in an aquarium in Omaha reproduced by parthenogenesis.
Monday, September 29, 2008
My Other Job Involves Time Travel...
Ok, so I'm involved in a bit of a juggling act right now. I have a full-time weekend job (one 34 hour shift beginning on Friday nights) that pays terribly but gives me medical and dental benefits and the priceless benefit of a steady, predictable paycheck. We'll call this Job A.
I also work for a temp agency during the week, your standard 8-5. Well, actually, it's more like 7:30-4:30 because I'm also going to night school. Anyway, I rarely know more than a few days in advance (and sometimes only a few hours in advance), where or if I'll be working on any given day. The pay is better, but it's sporadic, unpredictable, and lacks benefits. We'll call this Job B. Job A knows about Job B, but I usually try to keep Job B from knowing about Job A.
This morning, I got an e-mail from my boss at Job A asking me about my availability for a staff meeting. Our staff is diffused, and we only really meet monthly. All other communication is written. Meetings are usually held on weekday evenings, but can be held at any mutually convenient time. I'm in class on weekday evenings, but I was able to propose an evening when I happen not to have class due to fall break. Anyway, I was explaining why I couldn't commit to a daytime meeting, and apparently I had too much else on my mind while I was writing this. Here's the direct quote:
"I don't have classes the evenings of [redacted], so either of those evenings would work. I can't really commit to daytimes right now because I never know when/where I'll be on any given day."
Oops. Lesson of the day: proofread.
I also work for a temp agency during the week, your standard 8-5. Well, actually, it's more like 7:30-4:30 because I'm also going to night school. Anyway, I rarely know more than a few days in advance (and sometimes only a few hours in advance), where or if I'll be working on any given day. The pay is better, but it's sporadic, unpredictable, and lacks benefits. We'll call this Job B. Job A knows about Job B, but I usually try to keep Job B from knowing about Job A.
This morning, I got an e-mail from my boss at Job A asking me about my availability for a staff meeting. Our staff is diffused, and we only really meet monthly. All other communication is written. Meetings are usually held on weekday evenings, but can be held at any mutually convenient time. I'm in class on weekday evenings, but I was able to propose an evening when I happen not to have class due to fall break. Anyway, I was explaining why I couldn't commit to a daytime meeting, and apparently I had too much else on my mind while I was writing this. Here's the direct quote:
"I don't have classes the evenings of [redacted], so either of those evenings would work. I can't really commit to daytimes right now because I never know when/where I'll be on any given day."
Oops. Lesson of the day: proofread.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
80 Skills Everyone Should Know
Popular Mechanics put out a list entitled "100 Skills Every Man Should Know". Technically, it was 80 skills one should know and 20 tools one should own. The skills were broken into categories. I'm going to expand it from "every man" to "every person". I went over the list of 80 skills and I've marked in bold the ones I know how to do.
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
2. Drive in snow (It doesn't snow where I live.)
3. Check trouble codes
4. Replace fan belt
5. Wax a car (On my mission, it was a rule that we had to wax the car once per month. It usually managed to get done quarterly.)
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
8. Hitch up a trailer
9. Jump start a car (I have this bad habit of leaving my lights on and running down the battery.)
Handling Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
11. Reverse hypothermia
12. Perform hands-only CPR
13. Escape a sinking car
Home
14. Carve a turkey (Never had a reason to learn. However, I do know how to carve a tofurky.)
15. Use a sewing machine
16. Put out a fire
17. Home brew beer
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric (Hydrogen peroxide works great.)
19. Move heavy stuff
20. Grow food
21. Read an electric meter
22. Shovel the right way (There's a right way?)
23. Solder wire
24. Tape drywall
25. Split firewood
26. Replace a faucet washer
27. Mix concrete
28. Paint a straight line
29. Use a French knife (I had never heard it called that, though. My mom always called it a chef's knife.)
30. Prune bushes and small trees
31. Iron a shirt
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
33. Change a single-pole switch
34. Fell a tree
35. Replace a broken windowpane
36. Set up a ladder, safely
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
38. Sweat copper tubing
39. Change a diaper
40. Grill with charcoal
41. Sew a button on a shirt
42. Fold a flag
Medical Myths (I have a medical job right now.)
43. Treat frostbite
44. Treat a burn
45. Help a seizure victim
46. Treat a snakebite
47. Remove a tick
Military Know-How (Two years of ROTC will do that...)
48. Shine shoes
49. Make a drum-tight bed
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
52. Hang food in the wild
53. Skipper a boat
54. Shoot straight
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
56. Escape a rip current
Primitive Skills (11 years as a Girl Scout)
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
58. Build a shelter
59. Find potable water
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
61. Tornados
62. Cold
63. Heat
64. Lightning
Teach Your Kids (I don't have any, but I still know some of these skills.)
65. Cast a line
66. Lend a hand
67. Change a tire
68. Throw a spiral
69. Fly a stunt kite
70. Drive a stick shift
71. Parallel park
72. Tie a bowline
73. Tie a necktie
74. Whittle
75. Ride a bike (You haven't lived until you've commuted by bicycle in San Francisco. It's a slow, arduous process, but it's faster and cheaper than the bus. Just watch out for cars trying to run you over.)
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
77. Take the perfect portrait
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
79. Shoot a home movie
80. Ditch your hard drive
Not bad 57/80 is 71%. A C- on life skills!
Automotive
1. Handle a blowout
2. Drive in snow (It doesn't snow where I live.)
3. Check trouble codes
4. Replace fan belt
5. Wax a car (On my mission, it was a rule that we had to wax the car once per month. It usually managed to get done quarterly.)
6. Conquer an off-road obstacle
7. Use a stick welder
8. Hitch up a trailer
9. Jump start a car (I have this bad habit of leaving my lights on and running down the battery.)
Handling Emergencies
10. Perform the Heimlich
11. Reverse hypothermia
12. Perform hands-only CPR
13. Escape a sinking car
Home
14. Carve a turkey (Never had a reason to learn. However, I do know how to carve a tofurky.)
15. Use a sewing machine
16. Put out a fire
17. Home brew beer
18. Remove bloodstains from fabric (Hydrogen peroxide works great.)
19. Move heavy stuff
20. Grow food
21. Read an electric meter
22. Shovel the right way (There's a right way?)
23. Solder wire
24. Tape drywall
25. Split firewood
26. Replace a faucet washer
27. Mix concrete
28. Paint a straight line
29. Use a French knife (I had never heard it called that, though. My mom always called it a chef's knife.)
30. Prune bushes and small trees
31. Iron a shirt
32. Fix a toilet tank flapper
33. Change a single-pole switch
34. Fell a tree
35. Replace a broken windowpane
36. Set up a ladder, safely
37. Fix a faucet cartridge
38. Sweat copper tubing
39. Change a diaper
40. Grill with charcoal
41. Sew a button on a shirt
42. Fold a flag
Medical Myths (I have a medical job right now.)
43. Treat frostbite
44. Treat a burn
45. Help a seizure victim
46. Treat a snakebite
47. Remove a tick
Military Know-How (Two years of ROTC will do that...)
48. Shine shoes
49. Make a drum-tight bed
50. Drop and give the perfect pushup
Outdoors
51. Run rapids in a canoe
52. Hang food in the wild
53. Skipper a boat
54. Shoot straight
55. Tackle steep drops on a mountain bike
56. Escape a rip current
Primitive Skills (11 years as a Girl Scout)
57. Build a fire in the wilderness
58. Build a shelter
59. Find potable water
Surviving Extremes
60. Floods
61. Tornados
62. Cold
63. Heat
64. Lightning
Teach Your Kids (I don't have any, but I still know some of these skills.)
65. Cast a line
66. Lend a hand
67. Change a tire
68. Throw a spiral
69. Fly a stunt kite
70. Drive a stick shift
71. Parallel park
72. Tie a bowline
73. Tie a necktie
74. Whittle
75. Ride a bike (You haven't lived until you've commuted by bicycle in San Francisco. It's a slow, arduous process, but it's faster and cheaper than the bus. Just watch out for cars trying to run you over.)
Technology
76. Install a graphics card
77. Take the perfect portrait
78. Calibrate HDTV settings
79. Shoot a home movie
80. Ditch your hard drive
Not bad 57/80 is 71%. A C- on life skills!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Have You Ever?
Here's another installment of "Borrowed from Elisabeth's Blog". It's a list of 200 things that people may have done. The ones I've done are in bold. There's one thing on the list that I've done that I won't admit to.
Have you ever...
1. Touched an iceberg (I was in Canada. It was July. Seriously.)
2. Slept under the stars (On multiple occasions. My favorite was on a trampoline.)
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower (I always seem to look away right before the meteor goes by, though. I watch meteor showers every year and I’ve only seen a few meteors.)
6. Given to a charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights (A few years ago they were visible in Sacramento, a 2 hour drive from my place. I didn’t go and I wish I had.)
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (Well, tomatoes and bell peppers are technically fruits, but I’m counting it anyway. I got one tomato and two peppers. I made an omelet, and then the plants died.)
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope (I was an astronomy lab technician in college. I got to look through lots of telescopes. The coolest was looking at Jupiter through a 14” observatory telescope. It’s amazing.)
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (I call them “mental health days”.)
24. Held a lamb
25. Gone skinny dipping
26. Taken an ice cold bath
27. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
28. Seen a total eclipse (I’ve seen both lunar and solar.)
29. Ridden a roller coaster
30. Hit a home run (It was inside the park, and only because the fielders dropped the ball, but it still counts.)
31. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
32. Adopted an accent for fun
33. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (My dad was born at Stanford. I took a class at Stanford when I was a sophomore in college.)
34. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
35. Loved your job 90% of the time
36. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
37. Watched wild whales
38. Gone rock climbing
39. Gone on a walk on the beach
40. Gone sky diving (It was indoor skydiving in a wind tunnel. I have no desire to do it for real unless the airplane is about to crash or something.)
41. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
42. Bench-pressed your own weight (Actually, it was a little more than my own weight.)
43. Milked a cow (No, but I’ve milked a goat.)
44. Alphabetized your personal files
45. Worn a superhero costume
46. Sung karaoke (I’m probably the only person to have ever done so while sober.)
47. Lounged around in bed all day
48. Gone scuba diving
49. Kissed in the rain
50. Played in the mud
51. Gone to a drive-in theater
52. Done something you should regret, but don't
53. Visited the Great Wall of China
54. Started a business (I sold candles on the internet for a while.)
55. Been in a movie (Low-budget college film projects.)
56. Gone without food for 3 days
57. Made cookies from scratch
58. Won first prize in a costume contest
59. Got flowers for no reason (My ex loved to give flowers. I’m just not into flowers. Unless they’re still alive and growing in the ground.)
60. Spoken more than one language fluently
61. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (Do verbal fights count?)
62. Bounced a check
63. Read and understood your credit report
64. Found out something significant that your ancestors did (My mom is really into that stuff. She could spend hours regaling me with tales.)
65. Called or written your Congress person
66. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
67. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
68. Helped an animal give birth
69. Been fired or laid off from a job
70. Won money
71. Broken a bone
72. Ridden a motorcycle
73. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
74. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
75. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
77. Had your picture in the newspaper
78. Read the Bible cover to cover
79. Changed some one's mind about something you care deeply about
80. Gone back to school
81. Changed your name
82. Eaten fried green tomatoes
83. Read The Iliad
84. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Candlemaking.)
85. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I’m a vegetarian. I have, however, killed and prepared a vegetable for eating.)
86. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
87. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
88. Been elected to public office
89. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
90. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
91. Dyed your hair
92. Rocked a baby to sleep
93. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
94. Raked your carpet
95. Worn a mood ring
96. Ridden a horse
97. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
98. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe (My applesauce is famous.)
99. Buried a child
100. Gone to a Broadway play
101. Been inside the pyramids
102. Shot a basketball into a basket (I played basketball in college. It was on my ROTC unit’s team. We were all so short that at 5’3” I was the center.)
103. Danced at a disco
104. Played in a band
105. Shot a bird
106. Gone to an arboretum
107. Tutored someone
108. Ridden a train (I commuted by train daily for two years.)
109. Brought an old fad back into style
110. Eaten caviar
111. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn't need
112. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
113. Published a book
114. Pieced a quilt
115. Lived in a historic place
116. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
117. Asked for a raise (I got it, too.)
118. Made a hole-in-one mini golfing
119. Gone deep sea fishing
120. Gone roller skating
121. Run a marathon (Well, I didn’t run it all. It was a marathon relay. My leg was only 2.5 miles.)
122. Learned to surf
123. Invented something
124. Flown first class
125. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury hotel
126. Sang a solo
127. Gone spelunking
128. Learned how to take a compliment
129. Written a love-story
130. Seen Michelangelo's David (It was a replica, though.)
131. Had your portrait painted
132. Written a fan letter
133. Spent the night in something haunted
134. Ran away
135. Learned to juggle
136. Been a boss
137. Sat on a jury (Almost. I got dismissed as a peremptory challenge during voir dire.)
138. Lied about your weight
139. Gone on a diet
140. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
141. Written a poem (They usually start “There once was a man from Nantucket…”)
142. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox
143. Gotten food poisoning
144. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
145. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
146. Gone to the opera
147. Gotten a letter from someone famous (When I got my Girl Scout Gold Award, the equivalent of Eagle Scout, I got a whole packet of form letters from famous people. Steven Spielberg was among them. I can’t remember any others.)
148. Worn knickers
149. Ridden in a limousine
150. Attended the Olympics
151. Can hula or waltz
152. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
153. Been stuck in an elevator
154. Had a revelatory dream
155. Thought you might crash in an airplane
156. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
157. Saved someone's life
158. Eaten raw whale
159. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
160. Laughed till your side hurt
161. Straddled the equator
162. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
163. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival (Ashland, Oregon. It was a ton of fun.)
164. Sent a message in a bottle
165. Spent the night in a hostel
166. Been a cashier
167. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
168. Joined a union
169. Donated blood
170. Built a campfire
171. Kept a blog
172. Had hives
173. Worn custom made shoes or boots
174. Made a PowerPoint Presentation
175. Taken a Hunter's Safety Course
176. Served at a soup kitchen (We didn’t serve soup, though.)
177. Conquered the Rubik's cube (Only by cheating. If you throw it to the ground really hard, the pieces will come apart. You can then re-assemble it in a solved position. Much faster than peeling the stickers off.)
178. Known CPR
179. Gone fishing (All I caught was a tumbleweed and a lily pad. The frog who owned the lily pad was a bit upset at me and ribbited threateningly.)
180. Found a long lost friend
181. Voted for a contestant on American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance
182. Successfully convinced someone you were of a different nationality (Well, I convinced them that I was a different nationality than they originally thought I was. They thought I was Israeli, and after some convincing they finally believed that I’m an American, which I am.)
183. Received a promotion
184. Movie-hopped (Gone to two movies in a theater and only paying for the first movie)
185. Planned a surprise party for someone
186. Beaten all levels of a video game
187. Driven more than 2,500 miles on a cross-country trip
188. Cried yourself to sleep
189. Stayed awake for more than 24 hours
190. Crossed a national border by car (Montana to Alberta)
191. Been to an island (Alcatraz. As a tourist, not a resident.)
192. Been completely out of debt -student loans, house, and all (Sadly, this is no longer the case. Only student loans, though. I just paid off my credit card today. Happy dance!)
193. Read a book from the Twilight series
194. Traveled to Italy
195. Given birth
196. Helped solve a crime
197. Learned to meditate
198. Owned your dream car
199. Learned to love eating raw vegetables
200. Seen all 50 states
Have you ever...
1. Touched an iceberg (I was in Canada. It was July. Seriously.)
2. Slept under the stars (On multiple occasions. My favorite was on a trampoline.)
3. Been a part of a hockey fight
4. Changed a baby's diaper
5. Watched a meteor shower (I always seem to look away right before the meteor goes by, though. I watch meteor showers every year and I’ve only seen a few meteors.)
6. Given to a charity
7. Swam with wild dolphins
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a tarantula
10. Said "I love you" and meant it
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long and watched the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights (A few years ago they were visible in Sacramento, a 2 hour drive from my place. I didn’t go and I wish I had.)
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables (Well, tomatoes and bell peppers are technically fruits, but I’m counting it anyway. I got one tomato and two peppers. I made an omelet, and then the plants died.)
19. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope (I was an astronomy lab technician in college. I got to look through lots of telescopes. The coolest was looking at Jupiter through a 14” observatory telescope. It’s amazing.)
20. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Bet on a winning horse
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill (I call them “mental health days”.)
24. Held a lamb
25. Gone skinny dipping
26. Taken an ice cold bath
27. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
28. Seen a total eclipse (I’ve seen both lunar and solar.)
29. Ridden a roller coaster
30. Hit a home run (It was inside the park, and only because the fielders dropped the ball, but it still counts.)
31. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
32. Adopted an accent for fun
33. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors (My dad was born at Stanford. I took a class at Stanford when I was a sophomore in college.)
34. Felt very happy about your life, even for just a moment
35. Loved your job 90% of the time
36. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
37. Watched wild whales
38. Gone rock climbing
39. Gone on a walk on the beach
40. Gone sky diving (It was indoor skydiving in a wind tunnel. I have no desire to do it for real unless the airplane is about to crash or something.)
41. Ever bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
42. Bench-pressed your own weight (Actually, it was a little more than my own weight.)
43. Milked a cow (No, but I’ve milked a goat.)
44. Alphabetized your personal files
45. Worn a superhero costume
46. Sung karaoke (I’m probably the only person to have ever done so while sober.)
47. Lounged around in bed all day
48. Gone scuba diving
49. Kissed in the rain
50. Played in the mud
51. Gone to a drive-in theater
52. Done something you should regret, but don't
53. Visited the Great Wall of China
54. Started a business (I sold candles on the internet for a while.)
55. Been in a movie (Low-budget college film projects.)
56. Gone without food for 3 days
57. Made cookies from scratch
58. Won first prize in a costume contest
59. Got flowers for no reason (My ex loved to give flowers. I’m just not into flowers. Unless they’re still alive and growing in the ground.)
60. Spoken more than one language fluently
61. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone (Do verbal fights count?)
62. Bounced a check
63. Read and understood your credit report
64. Found out something significant that your ancestors did (My mom is really into that stuff. She could spend hours regaling me with tales.)
65. Called or written your Congress person
66. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
67. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
68. Helped an animal give birth
69. Been fired or laid off from a job
70. Won money
71. Broken a bone
72. Ridden a motorcycle
73. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
74. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
75. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
77. Had your picture in the newspaper
78. Read the Bible cover to cover
79. Changed some one's mind about something you care deeply about
80. Gone back to school
81. Changed your name
82. Eaten fried green tomatoes
83. Read The Iliad
84. Taught yourself an art from scratch (Candlemaking.)
85. Killed and prepared an animal for eating (I’m a vegetarian. I have, however, killed and prepared a vegetable for eating.)
86. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
87. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
88. Been elected to public office
89. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
90. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
91. Dyed your hair
92. Rocked a baby to sleep
93. Ever dropped a cat from a high place to see if it really lands on all fours
94. Raked your carpet
95. Worn a mood ring
96. Ridden a horse
97. Carved an animal from a piece of wood or bar of soap
98. Cooked a dish where four people asked for the recipe (My applesauce is famous.)
99. Buried a child
100. Gone to a Broadway play
101. Been inside the pyramids
102. Shot a basketball into a basket (I played basketball in college. It was on my ROTC unit’s team. We were all so short that at 5’3” I was the center.)
103. Danced at a disco
104. Played in a band
105. Shot a bird
106. Gone to an arboretum
107. Tutored someone
108. Ridden a train (I commuted by train daily for two years.)
109. Brought an old fad back into style
110. Eaten caviar
111. Let a salesman talk you into something you didn't need
112. Ridden a giraffe or elephant
113. Published a book
114. Pieced a quilt
115. Lived in a historic place
116. Acted in a play or performed on a stage
117. Asked for a raise (I got it, too.)
118. Made a hole-in-one mini golfing
119. Gone deep sea fishing
120. Gone roller skating
121. Run a marathon (Well, I didn’t run it all. It was a marathon relay. My leg was only 2.5 miles.)
122. Learned to surf
123. Invented something
124. Flown first class
125. Spent the night in a 5-star luxury hotel
126. Sang a solo
127. Gone spelunking
128. Learned how to take a compliment
129. Written a love-story
130. Seen Michelangelo's David (It was a replica, though.)
131. Had your portrait painted
132. Written a fan letter
133. Spent the night in something haunted
134. Ran away
135. Learned to juggle
136. Been a boss
137. Sat on a jury (Almost. I got dismissed as a peremptory challenge during voir dire.)
138. Lied about your weight
139. Gone on a diet
140. Found an arrowhead or a gold nugget
141. Written a poem (They usually start “There once was a man from Nantucket…”)
142. Carried your lunch in a lunchbox
143. Gotten food poisoning
144. Gone on a service, humanitarian or religious mission
145. Sat on a park bench and fed the ducks
146. Gone to the opera
147. Gotten a letter from someone famous (When I got my Girl Scout Gold Award, the equivalent of Eagle Scout, I got a whole packet of form letters from famous people. Steven Spielberg was among them. I can’t remember any others.)
148. Worn knickers
149. Ridden in a limousine
150. Attended the Olympics
151. Can hula or waltz
152. Read a half dozen Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys books
153. Been stuck in an elevator
154. Had a revelatory dream
155. Thought you might crash in an airplane
156. Had a song dedicated to you on the radio or at a concert
157. Saved someone's life
158. Eaten raw whale
159. Know how to tat, smock or do needlepoint
160. Laughed till your side hurt
161. Straddled the equator
162. Taken a photograph of something other than people that is worth framing
163. Gone to a Shakespeare Festival (Ashland, Oregon. It was a ton of fun.)
164. Sent a message in a bottle
165. Spent the night in a hostel
166. Been a cashier
167. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
168. Joined a union
169. Donated blood
170. Built a campfire
171. Kept a blog
172. Had hives
173. Worn custom made shoes or boots
174. Made a PowerPoint Presentation
175. Taken a Hunter's Safety Course
176. Served at a soup kitchen (We didn’t serve soup, though.)
177. Conquered the Rubik's cube (Only by cheating. If you throw it to the ground really hard, the pieces will come apart. You can then re-assemble it in a solved position. Much faster than peeling the stickers off.)
178. Known CPR
179. Gone fishing (All I caught was a tumbleweed and a lily pad. The frog who owned the lily pad was a bit upset at me and ribbited threateningly.)
180. Found a long lost friend
181. Voted for a contestant on American Idol or So You Think You Can Dance
182. Successfully convinced someone you were of a different nationality (Well, I convinced them that I was a different nationality than they originally thought I was. They thought I was Israeli, and after some convincing they finally believed that I’m an American, which I am.)
183. Received a promotion
184. Movie-hopped (Gone to two movies in a theater and only paying for the first movie)
185. Planned a surprise party for someone
186. Beaten all levels of a video game
187. Driven more than 2,500 miles on a cross-country trip
188. Cried yourself to sleep
189. Stayed awake for more than 24 hours
190. Crossed a national border by car (Montana to Alberta)
191. Been to an island (Alcatraz. As a tourist, not a resident.)
192. Been completely out of debt -student loans, house, and all (Sadly, this is no longer the case. Only student loans, though. I just paid off my credit card today. Happy dance!)
193. Read a book from the Twilight series
194. Traveled to Italy
195. Given birth
196. Helped solve a crime
197. Learned to meditate
198. Owned your dream car
199. Learned to love eating raw vegetables
200. Seen all 50 states
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Musical Instruments
I love music. I like to think I have a talent for it, but I've never liked practicing enough to get good at a particular instrument. I've dabbled a bit on the following instruments:
1) Cello. This was my first instrument. When I was in kindergarten we had an assembly at school where some musicians came to play and talk about their instruments. There was a cellist there. I was mesmerized, and I decided that I wanted to play the cello. In 4th grade, I had that chance when I joined the school orchestra. I was the only cellist at the school, so I had to sit in the violin class, but it was fun anyway. The cello was almost as big as I was, and I looked pretty silly carrying that thing home from school. I played for a year until we moved across town to a school that didn't have an orchestra.
2) Flute. I wanted to play the oboe. I had become interested in the oboe in 4th grade, just before I started playing the cello, and I decided that if I ever couldn't play the cello, it would be the oboe. In order to play the oboe, most people recommend that you play the clarinet first. So...when I moved to a school that only did wind instruments, I decided I wanted to play the clarinet for a year in preparation for the oboe. My mother, however, had other plans. She had played the clarinet as a child and didn't like it, so she figured that I wouldn't like it either. She said that if I wanted to play in the band that it had to be the flute. I wanted to be in the band, so I acquiesced. I wasn't very good at getting any sound out of the darn thing, so at the end of the school year, that was the end of my flute playing. (The funny aside to that is a few years later, my sister wanted to play the flute and my mom made her play the clarinet instead because I didn't like the flute. She ended up hating the clarinet. Go figure.)
3) Piano. When I was 14, my great-grandmother passed away, and we inherited her piano. My mom said that we all (me, my sister, and my mom--somehow my dad was off the hook on this one) had to take piano lessons for 6 months in order to keep the piano. I so did not want to take piano lessons. (I was still holding out hope for the oboe.) I already knew how to read both the treble and bass clef (bass from the cello, treble from the flute), so I had a leg up on that. At the end of 6 months, my sister quit lessons because she didn't like it, and my mom quit lessons because she was too busy. However, my mom made me take lessons for another 6 months. At the end of the year, I quit lessons because I didn't like it. My mom told me that I would regret quitting, and I told her I wouldn't.
4) Recorder. When I was 16, I decided to teach myself how to play the recorder. I started with the soprano recorder, but it sounded like a toy, so I switched to the tenor. This was the first instrument since the cello that I enjoyed playing. I picked it up pretty quickly and had a chance to play in church a few times. It sounds a bit like a flute, but it's pitched more like an oboe. In fact, since there is almost no recorder music available, I would often buy oboe music and play that. I still play every so often.
5) Organ. Remember how my mom said that I would regret quitting piano lessons? Well, she was right. I picked up the organ when I was about 18. (And boy was it heavy...) A family friend gave me a few lessons to get me started, and then I went to college. I started college as a music minor. (That quickly switched to philosophy, but that's a subject for another day.) Anyway, in order to minor in music, I had to take private music lessons on any instrument of my choice, and the recorder didn't count. Since I didn't own any musical instruments and I couldn't afford to buy one on a college student budget, I decided on the organ. There was only one organ teacher at the university, and so I began my lessons. He was totally full of himself and we didn't get along at all. At the end of the quarter, I switched to voice lessons. I still play the organ on occasion, and it's one of the instruments I enjoy. It's funny when people ask me about it, because I'm actually much more comfortable on the organ than the piano. Most people who play both tend to prefer the piano. I try to avoid the piano whenever possible because I'm just so bad at it. An organ covers a multitude of mistakes.
6) Bugle. When I was in college, I was in the ROTC (go Air Force!), and I was captain of the color guard. When we did ceremonies, we had this awful cd recording of a bugle player doing To the Color, Taps, etc. I figured I could do better, so I found a cheap bugle at an Army surplus store and attempted to play it. I couldn't figure out how to get different notes on it (there are no keys), so I ended up sounding like a weed whacker. Chalk that one up to experience. We kept using the cd.
7) Oboe. I finally fulfilled my childhood dream a few years ago and got an oboe off of eBay. I couldn't afford lessons, so I downloaded a fingering chart and dusted off the music I used for my recorder. It was hard at first, but I got to the point where I could play some very basic stuff. However, I got so busy that I never had time to play. Then I got to the point where I needed the money more than I needed the oboe, so I sold it to some kid in Wisconsin. (I love the internet.) Maybe someday I'll have the chance to try again.
There you have it. I'm not good at any instrument, but I have the distinction of being bad at seven of them. I would like to try the tympani at some point. I had a chance in college, but the timing was bad. The orchestra was doing Rodeo by Aaron Copland, and they needed tons of extra percussionists. They were willing to teach anyone who was willing to learn. I'm wishing I had taken them up on that offer.
Have you ever noticed how some instruments get associated with certain pieces of music? For example, I'm pretty sure that accordions are programmed to only be able to play Lady of Spain, and that bagpipes are programmed for your choice of either Amazing Grace or Scotland the Brave. A single banjo can play any number of American folk tunes, but if you get two of them together, they can only do Dueling Banjos. Violins are extremely versatile, but once you call it a fiddle, you're limited to Turkey in the Straw.
1) Cello. This was my first instrument. When I was in kindergarten we had an assembly at school where some musicians came to play and talk about their instruments. There was a cellist there. I was mesmerized, and I decided that I wanted to play the cello. In 4th grade, I had that chance when I joined the school orchestra. I was the only cellist at the school, so I had to sit in the violin class, but it was fun anyway. The cello was almost as big as I was, and I looked pretty silly carrying that thing home from school. I played for a year until we moved across town to a school that didn't have an orchestra.
2) Flute. I wanted to play the oboe. I had become interested in the oboe in 4th grade, just before I started playing the cello, and I decided that if I ever couldn't play the cello, it would be the oboe. In order to play the oboe, most people recommend that you play the clarinet first. So...when I moved to a school that only did wind instruments, I decided I wanted to play the clarinet for a year in preparation for the oboe. My mother, however, had other plans. She had played the clarinet as a child and didn't like it, so she figured that I wouldn't like it either. She said that if I wanted to play in the band that it had to be the flute. I wanted to be in the band, so I acquiesced. I wasn't very good at getting any sound out of the darn thing, so at the end of the school year, that was the end of my flute playing. (The funny aside to that is a few years later, my sister wanted to play the flute and my mom made her play the clarinet instead because I didn't like the flute. She ended up hating the clarinet. Go figure.)
3) Piano. When I was 14, my great-grandmother passed away, and we inherited her piano. My mom said that we all (me, my sister, and my mom--somehow my dad was off the hook on this one) had to take piano lessons for 6 months in order to keep the piano. I so did not want to take piano lessons. (I was still holding out hope for the oboe.) I already knew how to read both the treble and bass clef (bass from the cello, treble from the flute), so I had a leg up on that. At the end of 6 months, my sister quit lessons because she didn't like it, and my mom quit lessons because she was too busy. However, my mom made me take lessons for another 6 months. At the end of the year, I quit lessons because I didn't like it. My mom told me that I would regret quitting, and I told her I wouldn't.
4) Recorder. When I was 16, I decided to teach myself how to play the recorder. I started with the soprano recorder, but it sounded like a toy, so I switched to the tenor. This was the first instrument since the cello that I enjoyed playing. I picked it up pretty quickly and had a chance to play in church a few times. It sounds a bit like a flute, but it's pitched more like an oboe. In fact, since there is almost no recorder music available, I would often buy oboe music and play that. I still play every so often.
5) Organ. Remember how my mom said that I would regret quitting piano lessons? Well, she was right. I picked up the organ when I was about 18. (And boy was it heavy...) A family friend gave me a few lessons to get me started, and then I went to college. I started college as a music minor. (That quickly switched to philosophy, but that's a subject for another day.) Anyway, in order to minor in music, I had to take private music lessons on any instrument of my choice, and the recorder didn't count. Since I didn't own any musical instruments and I couldn't afford to buy one on a college student budget, I decided on the organ. There was only one organ teacher at the university, and so I began my lessons. He was totally full of himself and we didn't get along at all. At the end of the quarter, I switched to voice lessons. I still play the organ on occasion, and it's one of the instruments I enjoy. It's funny when people ask me about it, because I'm actually much more comfortable on the organ than the piano. Most people who play both tend to prefer the piano. I try to avoid the piano whenever possible because I'm just so bad at it. An organ covers a multitude of mistakes.
6) Bugle. When I was in college, I was in the ROTC (go Air Force!), and I was captain of the color guard. When we did ceremonies, we had this awful cd recording of a bugle player doing To the Color, Taps, etc. I figured I could do better, so I found a cheap bugle at an Army surplus store and attempted to play it. I couldn't figure out how to get different notes on it (there are no keys), so I ended up sounding like a weed whacker. Chalk that one up to experience. We kept using the cd.
7) Oboe. I finally fulfilled my childhood dream a few years ago and got an oboe off of eBay. I couldn't afford lessons, so I downloaded a fingering chart and dusted off the music I used for my recorder. It was hard at first, but I got to the point where I could play some very basic stuff. However, I got so busy that I never had time to play. Then I got to the point where I needed the money more than I needed the oboe, so I sold it to some kid in Wisconsin. (I love the internet.) Maybe someday I'll have the chance to try again.
There you have it. I'm not good at any instrument, but I have the distinction of being bad at seven of them. I would like to try the tympani at some point. I had a chance in college, but the timing was bad. The orchestra was doing Rodeo by Aaron Copland, and they needed tons of extra percussionists. They were willing to teach anyone who was willing to learn. I'm wishing I had taken them up on that offer.
Have you ever noticed how some instruments get associated with certain pieces of music? For example, I'm pretty sure that accordions are programmed to only be able to play Lady of Spain, and that bagpipes are programmed for your choice of either Amazing Grace or Scotland the Brave. A single banjo can play any number of American folk tunes, but if you get two of them together, they can only do Dueling Banjos. Violins are extremely versatile, but once you call it a fiddle, you're limited to Turkey in the Straw.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Welcome to Everyday Narcissism
Welcome to Everyday Narcissism. Some blogs are about culture or religion or law or politics, or any of a number of other serious stuff. I deal with serious stuff every day. I'm in law school and I work with developmentally disabled adults. This blog is about nothing serious at all. It's just about me. While my narcissism won't be every day, it will come as I come up with random things to post about. (I'll probably steal most of my ideas from Elisabeth. She's already given me some good ones to put up later.)
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