Last month I wrote about my new (to me, anyway) car and how much I liked it. Well, two days after I wrote that post, my transmission dropped. I had always thought that the description of a transmission dropping was metaphorical. Nope. There was actual dropping involved. My car was in the shop for two weeks.
When I got my car back, I was relieved. I figured that I would be done with all of the automotive nonsense. I drove it around for a few days, and then my car started to have trouble accelerating. I figured that it was the fuel filter, because switching a car that has been running on regular diesel to biodiesel causes a one-time clog in the fuel filter while the diesel is washed out of the tank. So I went to the auto parts store to buy a fuel filter. I checked online to see how to change it, and I decided it was too complex for me to handle by myself.
I called Jiffy Lube, and the guy there said I should take it to a regular mechanic. Since I was on my way to my friend's house, I decided I would take care of it in the morning. On my way to my friend's house, my check engine light came on, and my car wouldn't go over 25 mph even when I floored it. I pulled off to the side of the road and read the engine code. (I bought a check engine light code reader when I got the car. It's come in handy a few times.) The engine code said that there was a problem in the clutch solenoid.
I called my friend and she came to pick me up while we waited for the tow truck. I had it towed back to the same mechanic who did my transmission because the engine code indicated that it was another transmission problem.
That was over three weeks ago. It turns out that the solenoids are fine. The transmission is fine. The computer is fine. The fuel filter is pristine. But there's some faulty wire somewhere that's sending a bad code to the computer, and the computer has locked the transmission into first gear. The mechanic is still looking for the wire that's causing the problem. He said that he's going to send it to Volkswagen because he's completely baffled by it.
So, here's the scorecard on my car: I bought it in February, and it was in the shop for 3 weeks. Then I drove it for a week. Then it was in the shop for 2 weeks. Then I drove it for half a week. It has now been in the shop for 3 1/2 weeks and counting. Total time of car ownership: 10 weeks. Total time in the shop: 8 1/2 weeks, or 85% of the time I have owned the car. What a nightmare! (I can't even sell it because the check engine light is on, which is an automatic smog failure, and cars sold in CA have to pass smog.)
When I get this car back, it had better be worth it.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Found
I either went out and did the best thing for myself or the stupidest thing in the history of stupidity. Time will tell.
I quit my job this morning. (Technically, I tendered my resignation, effective May 11.) My boss tried to offer me more money to stay. (Oh, so now she thinks I'm worth more, when I'm ready to walk out the door.) I told her it wasn't about the money. She pried, so I told her my ethical concerns with the product. She didn't believe me. She thought I was using that as a cover for something else.
It was really scary to quit without another job lined up. It goes against all business advice. But I feel as if an enormous weight has been lifted off of me. I wasn't really able to interview for jobs while working because I couldn't get out of the office. So now I have time to find something ethical and interesting.
I have 3 weeks left in my current job, and I have 2 weeks of vacation pay saved up. So, that gives me 5 weeks to find a new job before I even feel a pinch in the wallet. Totally doable. The longest it's ever taken me to find a new job when I actually put effort into looking is 2 weeks. (I don't know my secret; it's been serendipity every time.) I'll temp until I find something, so I don't have to worry about money. I'm still teaching at San Quentin, so I won't have a resume gap.
Logically, I should feel terrified about this change, but I don't. I feel free. I'm going to get a good night's sleep tonight for the first time in months, and I'm going to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. It's a new day!
I quit my job this morning. (Technically, I tendered my resignation, effective May 11.) My boss tried to offer me more money to stay. (Oh, so now she thinks I'm worth more, when I'm ready to walk out the door.) I told her it wasn't about the money. She pried, so I told her my ethical concerns with the product. She didn't believe me. She thought I was using that as a cover for something else.
It was really scary to quit without another job lined up. It goes against all business advice. But I feel as if an enormous weight has been lifted off of me. I wasn't really able to interview for jobs while working because I couldn't get out of the office. So now I have time to find something ethical and interesting.
I have 3 weeks left in my current job, and I have 2 weeks of vacation pay saved up. So, that gives me 5 weeks to find a new job before I even feel a pinch in the wallet. Totally doable. The longest it's ever taken me to find a new job when I actually put effort into looking is 2 weeks. (I don't know my secret; it's been serendipity every time.) I'll temp until I find something, so I don't have to worry about money. I'm still teaching at San Quentin, so I won't have a resume gap.
Logically, I should feel terrified about this change, but I don't. I feel free. I'm going to get a good night's sleep tonight for the first time in months, and I'm going to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. It's a new day!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Lost
I've been a bit absent over here because of some stuff in my personal life. I've been keeping it to myself, but what's a blog for if I can't spew my personal thoughts on the internet for anyone to read?
So, here goes.
I'm feeling a bit lost right now. I'm unsatisfied in my job. At first it was just the standard overworked/underpaid thing. I like my co-workers, and until last week, I had the best boss ever. She just retired. I applied for her position, and I didn't get it because my company never promotes internally. (Terrible business practice if you ask me - it ensures that the best talent will leave.) My new boss is a bit of a micromanager, and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being micromanaged.
Plus, I've been doing some serious soul-searching, and I'm not really comfortable with the product the company produces. While the product itself has innocuous uses, it also enables very bad people to do very bad things. (And the company actively markets the product to those very bad people, though it doesn't officially condone the very bad things they do with the product.) For a while, I told myself that since I'm not the one writing the code, I'm not responsible. But the thing is, I am. I help find the engineers who write the code, and I support them and try to make their job easier. So I share some of the blame, and it's stuff I don't want on my conscience.
When I first got the job, I didn't know what the product did. I didn't need to; I just answered the phone and made photocopies. I continued that ignorance when I was promoted into human resources. Once again, I didn't really need to know about the product to answer employee questions about medical leave or health insurance. Then, a year or so later, we got bought by Big Defense Contractor. (It's a name you would recognize.) I wondered what Big Defense Contractor would want with a Silicon Valley software company, so I started asking questions. It's true, what they say. Ignorance really is bliss.
I figured I would get out after the bar exam. Then I failed the bar. In January, I decided, bar or no bar, I needed to find another job. I've been looking since then, and I haven't even had a single interview. Over the past few weeks, it's gotten so that I can barely sleep at night. I find myself dreading Monday mornings. And I'm powerless to do anything about it. I can't quit because I have no savings and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I'm still 4 weeks away from getting my bar exam results. If I pass, it's tempting to just take my chances starting my own law firm. But what if I don't pass the bar?
It's so bad that I'm seriously considering going back to the home health care agency I used to work at. The work was emotionally draining, and the pay was terrible, but at least it was ethical. I'm also considering going back to my old temp agency and answering phones at various places. But that's how I got into this mess in the first place.
I know eventually I want to become a professor, but that's still at least 2-3 years out. I have to find something to do until then. Any ideas?
So, here goes.
I'm feeling a bit lost right now. I'm unsatisfied in my job. At first it was just the standard overworked/underpaid thing. I like my co-workers, and until last week, I had the best boss ever. She just retired. I applied for her position, and I didn't get it because my company never promotes internally. (Terrible business practice if you ask me - it ensures that the best talent will leave.) My new boss is a bit of a micromanager, and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's being micromanaged.
Plus, I've been doing some serious soul-searching, and I'm not really comfortable with the product the company produces. While the product itself has innocuous uses, it also enables very bad people to do very bad things. (And the company actively markets the product to those very bad people, though it doesn't officially condone the very bad things they do with the product.) For a while, I told myself that since I'm not the one writing the code, I'm not responsible. But the thing is, I am. I help find the engineers who write the code, and I support them and try to make their job easier. So I share some of the blame, and it's stuff I don't want on my conscience.
When I first got the job, I didn't know what the product did. I didn't need to; I just answered the phone and made photocopies. I continued that ignorance when I was promoted into human resources. Once again, I didn't really need to know about the product to answer employee questions about medical leave or health insurance. Then, a year or so later, we got bought by Big Defense Contractor. (It's a name you would recognize.) I wondered what Big Defense Contractor would want with a Silicon Valley software company, so I started asking questions. It's true, what they say. Ignorance really is bliss.
I figured I would get out after the bar exam. Then I failed the bar. In January, I decided, bar or no bar, I needed to find another job. I've been looking since then, and I haven't even had a single interview. Over the past few weeks, it's gotten so that I can barely sleep at night. I find myself dreading Monday mornings. And I'm powerless to do anything about it. I can't quit because I have no savings and I'm living paycheck to paycheck. I'm still 4 weeks away from getting my bar exam results. If I pass, it's tempting to just take my chances starting my own law firm. But what if I don't pass the bar?
It's so bad that I'm seriously considering going back to the home health care agency I used to work at. The work was emotionally draining, and the pay was terrible, but at least it was ethical. I'm also considering going back to my old temp agency and answering phones at various places. But that's how I got into this mess in the first place.
I know eventually I want to become a professor, but that's still at least 2-3 years out. I have to find something to do until then. Any ideas?
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