I started my own law firm back in October, not by choice, but when I was trying to see the bright side of things, I figured at least being my own boss would give me better work/life balance.
There's this view that our time is divided into two neat categories: "work" and "life" (where "life" consists of family, friends, hobbies, spirituality, wellness, etc.), and the two categories are in tension with one another.
Since starting my firm, I've struggled mightily with that elusive work/life balance. At first, I had no clients, and while I tried to find them, there was only so much work to be done, so I spent way more time than I should have binge watching Netflix. You could say that the "life" portion was overtaking the "work" portion, throwing things out of balance.
Then a few months ago, I contracted with a firm in another state to handle local matters. That took up part of my time, but I still wasn't earning enough money to support myself, so I had to contract with a second firm to take on some work from them. Now I'm working 65-70 hours per week with little free time for anything else. The "work" portion has overtaken the "life" portion, keeping things still out of balance.
I was lamenting this situation to my cats last week. (My cats are great listeners, even if they're not such great conversationalists.) It suddenly dawned on me that the source of my misery was trying to separate the two. I was suffering from unrealistic expectations. There isn't "work" and "life". There's just life, and work is a part of it.
There will be times when different aspects of life will need to take priority for a while - like now with my busy time, I have to focus more on the work side of things. But in a few months when I can cut loose one of the firms I'm working with, then I can bring hobbies and personal relationships to the forefront.
It's still a balancing act, but it's not the same balancing act I had been taught to expect. We no longer live in a world where we clock in at 9, spend all day thinking solely about work, and clock out at 5 to have the rest of the day to ourselves. Sometimes personal stuff crops up at 10 in the morning, and occasionally a work matter will bother us at 7 at night. Instead of viewing the ebb and flow as an intrusion, it's really just a part of life itself.
That's not to say that it's good or healthy to always value one part over another - if we don't work, then the rest of our life is going to be pretty bad - after all, money doesn't grow on trees. And if we only focus on work, we might have all the money in the world but no time to enjoy it or people to enjoy it with. But instead of work/life, just focus on it all being life, and make the trade-offs necessary to make it a good one - holistically.
