Au Revoir to My Long Hair

I've had long hair for most of my life. My mom made me cut it from waist-length to chin-length when I was 12, but I immediately started growing it right back out. By the time I was 14, it was back to my waist. Since then, I've kept it between the middle of my back and my hips, preferring it slightly past the middle of my back.

Last week, I decided it was time for a trim since I hadn't gotten it cut in a while. I debated cutting it shorter than normal, and I finally settled on right around my shoulder blades. I did some research and realized that I had enough to donate it to one of those organizations that makes wigs for people. I called around to a few salons, and none of them participated, so I decided to cut my hair myself.

This was my first mistake. There's a reason I'm in law school and not cosmetology school. I shouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors. I planned on cutting off 8 inches, the minimum needed for donation. I measured wrong and ended up with 12 inches. My hair was uneven and just past shoulder length.

Enter my second mistake: excessive frugality. I usually go to Supercuts or Great Clips to get my hair cut. I can get a cut and shampoo for $15-20. Well, I decided that I didn't want to spend that much, so I called the local beauty college. They were running a special for $5. I had gone to the beauty college before for other services and I was pleased, so I figured I would give it a try.

I went in and asked just to have it evened out, but to keep my hair as long as possible. The student began clipping away. She clipped, and clipped, and kept clipping. I reminded her that I didn't want a lot cut off. She was dividing it into sections and trying to give me layers. When I told her I didn't want layers, she mumbled something about school rules. Then she tried to give me bangs. I grew my bangs out when I was 12 and my mom finally wasn't making me have them anymore. I've never looked back.

To make a long story even longer, I managed to get out of there without layers or bangs, but I lost another 3 inches of hair. It now barely touches the tops of my shoulders when it has been straightened. I shudder to think how short it's going to be when I let it go curly again. Now I'll have to figure out how to fix my hair. I can't put it up in a bun or a braid anymore, and those were two of my favorite styles. I have it in a headband to keep it out of my face, but I'm quickly running out of ideas.

At least it will grow back.

Grand Plans for Christmas Break

A few days ago, I just finished finals for the semester, and I'm experiencing a mixture of emotions as a result. Suffice it to say I'm relieved/concerned/tired/drained/relieved/penitent/relieved. I have a month off from school, so I have some grand plans.

1. Clean my apartment from top to bottom. Housekeeping has kind of slipped the past few weeks, and I find myself staring at/tripping over barely controlled chaos. Truth be told, it will probably only stay tidy for a week or so, but I can try. (Curse the Second Law of Thermodynamics...)

2. Get caught up on reading for fun. I've already started this one. On Friday, I read Anthem by Ayn Rand. I liked it better than The Fountainhead, but not as well as Atlas Shrugged. I plan on reading, in no particular order, The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Steven Dubner, and Restoring the Lost Constitution by Randy Barnett.

3. Write. I guess by doing this blog post, I've gotten started at this one as well.

4. Go job hunting. I'm tired of temping. I need stability and I want to use my training. If you know of any lawyers who are looking for a paralegal, I'm looking for a job.

5. Practice the recorder. I've been letting my music slip by the wayside. I was talking with the orchestra last night at intermission, and I think I'm going to play with them next year. Soprano choral singers are a dime a dozen, but I would be the only tenor recorder in the orchestra. (I would play the music of the second oboe, which would work great because there is only one oboe now.)

So, this is my list of plans. What will probably happen is that I'll sleep in, stay in my pajamas until noon, and snuggle up with my cat to watch television re-runs. I can dream big, though.

How the Cat Stole Christmas

I love decorating for Christmas. When I was growing up, my parents always had an artificial tree. The year I moved out, they got a new tree, so they gave me their old one, which was about 10 years old. I used it the first year and contemplated giving it away after that because it was starting to show its age. Being a poor grad student, however, I decided to make it last for another year. So, I used it last year with no problems. I once again thought about giving it away, but I decided to make it last for yet another year.

I live in a small apartment with 4 other people, 2 cats, and a chihuahua, so storage space is a bit limited. I store my tree at my parents' house in the off-season. On Thursday, after Thanksgiving dinner, I loaded the tree into my car and headed home. I set the tree up that night, and I realized that I should have given it away last year. It looked sad and worn. When I wasn't looking, my roommate's kitten, Pumpkin, managed to climb up into the tree, bend the branches, and knock other branches out of place. I removed him and began to string up the lights. He climbed back up and we played this game for over an hour.

I finally got the tree put together with the lights strung up, and then I went to bed. I didn't get around to putting up ornaments until Sunday, and Pumpkin pretty much left them alone. I finished putting up the ornaments on Monday night. Yesterday morning, one of my roommates (not Pumpkin's owner) said that Pumpkin had climbed up into the tree, knocked the ornaments down, and batted them around on the floor like cat toys. Later in the day, I saw him do the same thing, and he even broke one of my ornaments. (Fortunately, it was a cheap one that I didn't care much about.) He kept knocking branches down, and I was so frustrated that I took the tree down and put the furniture back where it belonged.

I called my mom and asked if I could borrow her little display tree that she used back in the day when she sold Christmas ornaments at craft fairs. She said yes. I now have a tiny 1 1/2 foot tree sitting on an end table with 6 ornaments and a string of lights. Pumpkin started batting at that one, too, but then I stuck some peppermint leaves in the tree and he hasn't touched it since. I just wish I had known about that little trick before I took the big tree down.

Oh, and I gave the big tree to the thrift store last night. Hopefully it will brighten someone else's Christmas.

Karaoke

Last week was my sister's birthday, and we went out as a family to a hibachi grill. (The kind where the chef plays with your food at the table.) The chef wasn't as entertaining as some are, but he was a better cook than most, so the food was excellent. It was karaoke night, so Jen and I decided to sing.

Background: I was in the opera in college and I've taken years of voice lessons and I sing semi-professionally, although I sing less frequently now because of school and work demands.

There is a dearth of pop music written for sopranos, but I decided to sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I was pretty bad, to be honest. (Although, I was better than most people. I had the advantage of being sober.) My timing was off, and I was apparently hard to hear, even with the microphone. I had fun anyway, and that's what counts. Jen sang Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves, and she was great. She could give Cher a run for her money.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. I love getting together with friends and family and celebrating all of the many things we have to be grateful for. I'm of course grateful for the traditional things like food, clothing, shelter, family, liberty, etc. However, what follows is a lighthearted list of things I'm grateful for.

1. I'm grateful that my cat, unlike my roommate's cat, is not inclined to scale the screen door.
2. I'm grateful that I now have a magnetic cat door that will allow my cat into my bedroom, but will not allow my roommate's cat in.
3. I'm grateful that the construction at my apartment complex is nearly finished and may be done sometime before the turn of the century.
4. I'm grateful that my inability to afford cable has granted me the opportunity to try to learn Spanish. (I have an antenna, and most of the channels I can pick up are in Spanish. I think the only English channels I can get are ABC and PBS.)
5. I'm grateful that the trackpad and trackball on my laptop are working today.
6. I'm grateful that somebody will read this blog entry and comment on it. (Hint, hint...)

Have a happy Thanksgiving. What are you grateful for? (Serious or lighthearted, it's all good.)

Out of Gas

Literally, not metaphorically...

I'm a terrible procrastinator. I keep trying to overcome it, but it pays off just often enough to remove the incentive to stop. However, it did not pay off yesterday.

I'm usually pretty good about filling my car up with gas. When I have a quarter tank left, I fill up. I get excellent gas mileage, so I can let it go for longer, but since I work weird hours in sketchy areas, I don't usually push my luck.

Thursday morning, I noticed that I only had a quarter tank of gas left, so I figured I would stop at the bank and then the gas station on my way into school. (The gas station I go to gives a discount for paying in cash.) I was running late that afternoon, so I didn't stop by on my way to class. On my way home, I decided that I was too tired and that it was late, so I decided to push off filling up to the next morning. I went home and looked for parking. Since my roommate hogs the parking spot, I had to circle the (very large) block a few times before finding a spot. I parked my car and trudged to my apartment.

In the morning, I decided to go to the library to check out some books. (Real live novels, not textbooks. I feel so decadent.) I walked out to my car and got in. I turned the key, and my car wouldn't start. My car is really old, and the battery dies frequently, so I figured that was the problem. Then I realized that the radio and the lights worked, so it couldn't be the battery. I thought about calling AAA, but then it dawned on me that I might be out of gas. Fortunately, there is a gas station about a block away from my apartment. I grabbed my wallet and trudged up the street.

When I got there, I bought a gas can, filled it with a gallon of gas, and walked back home. I put the gas in my car, and sure enough, the car started. I promptly stopped for gas before running my errands.

I'm just glad that if I had to run out of gas, that it was in broad daylight in front of my apartment complex on a day when I wasn't in a hurry to get anywhere. This could have been much worse. Now, I'm going to be extra vigilant about filling up when I get low.

Cleaning Disk Drives

Note to self: When you clean a disk, that is not to be interpreted literally.

I got up at 4:00 am this morning to finish my term paper that was due at 5:30 pm today. I worked all day, and I did my laundry while I was working. Well, around 11:00, I went to switch my load. I heard some rattling at the bottom of the washing machine, and I fished out my flash drive. I dried it off and put it in my computer. All files are present and accounted for, thankfully. I think I need a nap.

It's a Hardware Problem

My dad is a software engineer, so whenever he can't fix something, he proclaims it to be a hardware problem, and thus not his department. I'm a political scientist, not a computer scientist, but in this technological age, I've had to learn my fair share about computers. I've never had any formal training (except for the typing class I had to take in high school), but I've managed to pick it up quite well.

When my laptop died last year, my dad and one other computer engineer said that it was toast and that I would have to buy a new one. Since I was (and still am) on a student budget (seriously, grad students are even poorer than undergrads), I was determined to fix it. It turns out that my hard drive was scratched and all I had to do was replace it. No problem. I took care of it in under an hour. (Well, under an hour once I diagnosed the problem...it took me a lot longer than that to figure out what the problem was.)

Computer knowledge is a blessing and a liability. On the blessing side, I can set up and manage my wireless network without paying anyone else to do it. On the other hand, once people find out my hidden talent, they are forever asking me to fix their computers.

This is especially pronounced at work. I provide in-home care for disabled adults. My two clients share an apartment, and I come in on the weekend to provide care. There are other staff members who come in during the week. There is an internet connection available for staff use. Somehow, I ended up as the de-facto network administrator.

Sometime during the week, some of the staff members had moved the telephones in the apartment. When I arrived this evening, the person I was relieving said that for some unknown reason, the computer was broken, and she asked me to take a look at it. I did, and the computer was fine. However, the internet connection was down. I couldn't find any reason why it should have been down. The computer had a good connection to the router, and the router had a good connection to the modem. I checked all plugs, and then on a whim, I walked out to the kitchen. Sure enough, the spare phone had been plugged into the wall without a DSL filter. I unplugged the spare phone, and, voila! Internet access.

Lesson of the day: When in doubt, it's a hardware problem.

Vote!

I promised that this blog wouldn't be serious, so I'll start with my public service announcement and then follow it up with levity.

Today is election day. Our forefathers and foremothers sacrificed greatly so that we could have the right to vote. Don't let that sacrifice be in vain.

Now, for a bit of humor...A few years ago, I stumbled across a website called "Nobody for President". After all, Nobody can be trusted to keep his campaign promises.

Nobody will promise to end the war in Iraq!
Nobody promises to give power back to the citizens!
Nobody will promise to stop spying on Americans!
Nobody will promise to end corruption in the Government!
Nobody will promise to run on a platform of Peace!
Nobody will promise to stop government subsidies!
Nobody promises to cut Military Spending!
Nobody promises to reform our Election Process!
Nobody promises to create a lasting Peace in the Middle East!
Nobody promises to end the War on Drugs!

So, on this election day, go out and vote. Nobody will make you!

How to Make Your Own Charcoal...

...In Seven Easy Steps:

Step 1: Purchase a thrift-store toaster oven with the toast setting broken. This will allow you to make toast only using the broil setting. If you use a toaster, or a toaster oven with a functioning toast setting, your charcoal will be underdone.

Step 2: Place your bread in the oven, and turn the oven to broil.

Step 3: Get distracted.

Step 4: Completely forget that you have bread in the oven. Check your e-mail, play with your cat, and get in the shower.

Step 5: About 30 seconds after you've stepped into the shower, remember your toast. (Be sure your waist-length hair is good and wet for this to work best.)

Step 6: Grab a towel, wrap up in it, and frantically run to the kitchen.

Step 7: Turn off the toaster oven.

Presto! You have charcoal.

Fortunately, it didn't catch fire. It was close, though--smoke was billowing out of my toaster oven, and the cats were staring at it with a mild degree of alarm. I guess I have more on my mind than I realized. (I get absent-minded when I'm under stress. Finals are approaching.)

Law School Humor

Here's some background: Lawyers use funny words like "heretofore", "whereas", etc. There is a movement in the profession to eliminate this language. However, a request to the court is still called a "prayer". (This is not meant as any form of sacrilege; it's a holdover from mid-English, meaning a request.)

In my legal writing and research class, we had an open question and answer session in preparation for the final paper. The professor was reminding us that when we write, to avoid legalese. One of my classmates said, "Then, why do we still pray?"

Before the professor could reply, I piped up with, "Because we're going to need all the help we can get on this paper."

I got a good laugh out of the class.

Funny T-shirts

I'm not really much of a t-shirt with sayings kind of person, but I do enjoy a good one now and then. (Jen is the queen of funny shirts. She could probably wear a different one each day for 2-3 weeks before repeating.) Anyway, I haven't bought any new clothes for longer than I can remember. (Most of my stuff comes from thrift stores.)

I saw one online last night that I'm seriously tempted to get. It read: Bad grammar makes me [sic]!

Another one I like that I might get says: Obey gravity. It's the law.

I Think I'm Going to Paint My Car

My car is old. So old, in fact, that if it were a person, it would be old enough to vote. I drive a 1990 Toyota Camry with 255,000 miles on it. It's red, after a fashion. The car has needed a paint job since before I bought it. Every so often, I consider painting it, but I always toss out the idea because I figure the car won't be around much longer anyway. I've finally come to the conclusion that Toyotas are indestructible, so I might as well just do it.

I've been driving for 11 years, and I've had the privilege to drive 13 different vehicles. (This includes rental cars and business fleet cars.) The only car I've ever been pulled over in is my current car, where I've been pulled over 3 times in the past year. I wasn't breaking the law any of the times I was pulled over, and I wasn't ticketed. Unless the East Palo Alto police, the Fremont Police, and the California Highway Patrol are in some sort of conspiracy, it must be something about my car.

So, since my car needs a new paint job anyway, I'm asking you, my readers what color I should paint it.

An Open Letter to the California Highway Patrol

Dear California Highway Patrol,

Your officers have the guns. I understand that- that's why I had to bite my tongue as I was pulled over by one of your finest this evening while minding my own business. So, here it is, in all my sarcastic glory.

First, if you really must pull over a woman who is alone after dark, please find a better location than a dark frontage road off High Street in Oakland. This is a particularly dangerous area of an already dangerous city, an area that I never go to, only through. You claimed that you pulled me over "for my safety". I can see that the irony was lost on you. You had several options. After all, you had been tailgating me since San Leandro. I can only assume that you were beat up by a ninja as a teenager and thus have an aversion to anything Japanese, including my Toyota. Either that, or Santa Claus didn't give you any toys as a child, so you hate the color red.

Second, I know the economy is terrible right now, and people are losing jobs left and right. However, I really was on my way to work. Perhaps you were just annoyed to have to work on a Friday night and decided to give me grief to make yourself feel better. Well, you know what, I have to work on Friday nights, too. We're in the same boat, so let's not hassle one another.

Third, believe it or not, some people really don't drink. I was telling you the truth that I've never had an alcoholic beverage in my life. The strongest I've ever had is NyQuil, and that made me vomit. In fact, drinking is against my religion. Do you want to see my temple recommend to prove it?

Fourth, why would someone pretend to be coming from Fremont? I mean, come on, it's a pretty boring place. I bet you felt rather silly once you saw that the address on my drivers' license did indeed say that I live in Fremont.

Fifth, I've made an important discovery. The U.S. Constitution is like Police Kryptonite. I keep my car registration and proof of insurance inside a free copy provided by Lexis Nexis. Various other organizations provide free copies as well. Thank you for being my test subject. As soon as I brought it out to provide the requested documentation, I could see you freeze. Words like "probable cause" began to ring in your mind. It was entertaining to watch you backpedal while delivering a stern lecture just to save face.

I find it difficult to believe in these troubled times that you don't have some real criminals to harass. I suggest that you expend your efforts to apprehend them instead. That would be a much better way to secure my safety.

Sincerely,
A Taxpayer (i.e. someone who pays your salary)

Word of the Day - Updated

Scene: Legal Writing and Research class

Last night, we were discussing legal analysis, and how to apply rules from multiple cases to a new case. The subject at issue was the importation of "invasive material", which is basically something like Kudzu - a non-native plant or animal that has the potential to choke out native species. In our hypothetical example, the defendant imported a female marsupial mouse.

The professor was trying to get us to think about the issue and he asked how a single mouse could reproduce. People threw out reasonable answers like finding a male marsupial mouse, or finding a male mouse of another variety and cross-breeding. One person blurted out "parthenogenesis!"

We all had a good laugh. I must admit that while I would expect to discuss parthenogenesis in a biology class or in the analysis of a bad science fiction film, I didn't expect to find it in law school.

Update: I just randomly stumbled across a news article stating that a shark in an aquarium in Omaha reproduced by parthenogenesis.