Still Here!

It's been busy lately, but I'm still here. In case I don't get back in the next few weeks, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Office Zeitgeist

As part of my position at work, I'm responsible for keeping my finger on the pulse of the office. I keep an eye on morale and try to address problems before they get out of hand. Ever since someone brought in a box of magnetic poetry for the break room fridge, this job has become easier.

This morning as I was toasting my bagel, I stopped to read some of the sentences people had created with the words. Here's what my co-workers are thinking today:

• My best cubicle strategy is a non work lunch.
• We want to retire and how.
• Market crash caused my career plans to change.
• Embrace overseas office.
  

Here, Kitty, Kitty

I've been a cat person since I was a child. When I was two, I convinced my parents to take in a stray cat that was begging for food at our door. He was an all black cat, and being a two year old, I named him Blackie. I loved that cat. Sadly, we couldn't take him with us when we moved to California when I was six.

Throughout the rest of my childhood, my parents wouldn't let me have pets. (Except for goldfish, but you can't pet a fish.) When I moved into my own apartment, stray cats started showing up. Naturally, I fed them. One of the strays was a gray tabby cat. I named him Herbert. I fed him for several months before he ran off.

Then a beautiful black cat showed up at my door. I chased her off because she was friendly and well-fed, so I assumed that she was someone's cat and didn't need the food for the strays. She kept coming back like it was some sort of game. I asked around and nobody claimed her, so I named her Ebony and took her in. When I took her to the vet for her shots, I found that she had already been spayed, so she used to be someone's cat. But in the four years I've had her, nobody has come looking for her.

Ebony doesn't like other cats very much, which is sad because I wanted to get another one so she wouldn't be home alone all day. Well, the universe granted me my wish last week.

Sine of the times (or off on a tangent)

When I was a kid, everyone thought I was going to be an engineer (like my father, and his father...). I was good at math and science. I even liked science. However, I didn't like math. The only thing I ever got detention for in school was a repeated failure to do my algebra homework. I simply didn't see the point. It seemed like a waste of my time to do 50 problems on the same topic when 5 would suffice.

When I was in 11th grade, calculus and French were the same period. I had already satisfied the graduation requirement of two years of math and two years of a foreign language. So, whichever class I took would be an elective. I wanted to take French. My dad wanted me to take calculus. I told him that I was going to be a lawyer, so I would never need to do any more math. He won, and I had to take calculus. (I ended up taking French at the local community college that summer, so all wasn't totally lost.)

I struggled in calculus. It was the first time that math was hard for me. This took my dislike for math and intensified it. By the time I finished, I was sure I never wanted anything more to do with math. Fortunately, I passed the AP test, so I didn't have to take any math in college.

I studied political science and philosophy. Although I didn't have to take any math, I had to take statistics and economics. While knowledge of calculus wasn't essential in those classes, it sped up my homework because I could take mathematical shortcuts that other people couldn't. Once I graduated, I was secure in the knowledge that I was totally done with math.

I took some time off from school, and then I went to law school. The only math I had to do there was arithmetic. I'm now done with law school. Instead of being a lawyer, I've decided that I want to be a professor. I had a job lined up that fell through.

Most people with graduate degrees have a chance to get some college level classroom teaching experience while in school. Unfortunately, that's not a part of the law school curriculum. So, in order to be competitive, I need to get some time in the classroom.

One of my professors told me about the Prison University Project, which is an organization that recruits volunteers to teach college classes so that the inmates at San Quentin can receive their degrees. I signed up to teach English or comparative religion, but they ended up having plenty of volunteers for those classes this semester. However, they have a desperate need for people to teach math.

Since the rest of the volunteers are liberal arts folks whose allergy to numbers is even greater than mine, I ended up getting myself into teaching pre-algebra. I start next week.

So, the philosopher with a law degree who got detention for not doing algebra homework and hasn't taken a math class in 12 years is now teaching math to college students. Go figure.

Back to School

Sort of.

I had a part-time (leading to full-time in a few semesters) non tenure track teaching position at an undergraduate university for the fall lined up. My plan was to stay there a few years to get some experience and then go on the market for a tenure track position at a law school. Unfortunately, the job fell through.

So, my plans have been accelerated. I hadn't planned on going on the market this year, but through a series of improbable events, about which I may blog later, things have fallen into place for me to go on the market. I'll be going to a conference in Phoenix next month designed for aspiring law professors, and I'm hoping I get some useful advice there.

I'm not the typical law prof candidate. The typical candidate went to Yale (I went to Santa Clara) graduated at the top of the class (I was somewhere other than the top), and was on law review (I was on a law journal, but not the law review). Additionally, the typical candidate is a few years out of school (I just graduated) and clerked for a federal appellate judge (I couldn't even manage to land an interview with a district court judge, despite sending out hundreds of applications). So, I have an uphill battle here.

But, there is one aspect of the process over which I have some control. The typical candidate also has a record of publication of law review articles. I can't out-Yale the competition, I can't out-GPA them, and I can't out-clerk them, but I can out-write them. This is where the back to school aspect comes in.

I have trouble getting work done at home. So, I'm going to spend my free time hanging out in Heafey (SCU's law library) taking advantage of the fact that alumni who haven't passed the bar yet get free access. (Come November, when bar results are released, I'll have to start paying. Hope springs eternal.) So, go to work all day, go to school all evening. Just like I never graduated. Except that I'll have to shepardize my cases using the books since I don't have Lexis or Westlaw.

It's way better than going back to school, though. I don't have to pay tuition, and I get to spend my time writing about things I find interesting instead of sitting in classes about subjects that I'll never need to know about again now that I've taken the bar exam. Seriously, if I need a will, I won't do it myself. I'll do the prudent thing and go get a lawyer.

So, if you're one of the people I left behind when I graduated, stop by and say hi. Apparently Heafey is like the Hotel California.

Bar Exam Diaries - Day 3

I'm done! Here's hoping that I don't have to repeat this ordeal in February.

My alarm went off at 6:00 because I had planned on doing my hair and wearing makeup for the confidence boost. (I had gone to the other days with no makeup and braided hair.) I was so tired that I reset my alarm for 6:30. I got up at 6:35 and showered and dressed. I managed to do my hair, but I didn't bother with the makeup. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone there anyway.

I didn't eat any breakfast at home because I wasn't hungry yet. I turned on my computer to check my e-mail, and my cat decided she wanted to curl up on my lap and purr lovingly. I let her do that for a few minutes and then I had to leave. I drove to the BART station and got on the train. I brought a book today, so I buried my nose in it, in the international symbol for "please don't talk to me right now". Fortunately, everyone near me on the train was familiar with that symbol.

Bar Exam Diaries - Day 2

I'm now 2/3 of the way through the bar exam. The worst of it is over. Today was the multistate bar exam, which is the multiple choice section. I'm pretty good at essay exams, but multiple choice is my weakness, so today was the challenging day for me.

I woke up at 6:30, showered, dressed, and decided on breakfast. All I could stomach was a thing of yogurt, so I ate it and then drove to the BART station. I got on the train and headed on my way. Nobody felt chatty today, which is good, because I didn't really feel chatty, either. I got smart today and brought my ipod. I spent the train ride playing Angry Birds. When I arrived, I was hungry, so I stopped at a coffee shop and bought a pastry.

I ran into a few friends and we debriefed yesterday's exam. My impressions matched theirs, which was comforting. Then we headed in and took our seats. I brought pillows today, which helped. I could reach the table. The proctor came over and checked my ID. He was entirely too cheerful for the situation, but I appreciated it.

Bar Exam Diaries - Day 1

Last night, I got all of my stuff together because I didn't want to have to deal with it in the morning. I read over the list of stuff permitted in the exam room, and I laughed because one of the things listed was "two pillows without pillowcases". What? Do they think we have time for a nap or something? Anyway, I went to bed, and my alarm went off at 6:00 AM.

I got up feeling pretty refreshed, since I get up at 6 for work every morning anyway. I showered, dressed, then went to the kitchen to make breakfast. I had peanut butter toast for breakfast because I wanted something with protein, but I couldn't have any dairy because today was my last morning on an antibiotic where I can't eat dairy products within 3 hours. Sigh.

After breakfast, I drove to the BART station, bought my ticket, and got on the train. There was only one empty seat left, so I sat in it. The guy next to me was feeling chatty. We had a conversation that went like this:

Soylent Green Tea

Something funny (in a gallows humor sort of way) happened at work yesterday. One of my many responsibilities is stocking the break room so that the engineers are well-fed and appropriately caffeinated. A few weeks ago, at the request of our CFO, we switched brands of tea. The new brand of tea we use coincidentally has the same name as an employee who was asked to resign last month.

I was in the kitchen re-stocking the tea, and one of the engineers made a comment about the name of the tea brand. He joked that the timing was suspicious and that he was a little hesitant to drink it, wondering what was in it. We had a little laugh about it before returning to our respective cubicles.

(And for the record, the tea in question contains tea leaves and other plant-based spices. No former employees were harmed in the creation of the beverage. HR people may be evil, but we're not that evil.)

Two Lawyers Walk into a Bar...

I'm drowning in work and bar exam studying. I panicked this morning when I realized that:

• There are 13 subjects on the bar exam.
• The bar exam is in 6 weeks!

I have so much information I need to cram into my brain between now and then.

I'm not too worried about the essay portions, but the multiple choice concerns me. Bar exam multiple choice questions are evil. Here's an example:

Oxnard owned Goldacre, a tract of land, in fee simple. At a time when Goldacre was in the adverse possession of Amos, Eric obtained the oral permission of Oxnard to use a portion of Goldacre as a road or driveway to reach adjoining land, Twin Pines, which Eric owned in fee simple. Thereafter, during all times relevant to this problem, Eric used this road across Goldacre regularly for ingress and egress between Twin Pines and a public highway.
Amos quit possession of Goldacre before acquiring title by adverse possession. Without any further communication between Oxnard and Eric, Eric continued to use the road for a total period, from the time he first began to use it, sufficient to acquire an easement by prescription. Oxnard then blocked the road and refused to permit its continued use. Eric brought suit to determine his right to continue use of the road. Eric should
(A) win, because his use was adverse to Amos and once adverse it continued adverse until some affirmative showing of a change.
(B) win, because Eric made no attempt to renew permission after Amos quit possession of Goldacre.
(C) lose, because his use was with permission.
(D) lose, because there is no evidence that he continued adverse use for the required period after Amos quit possession.

There are 200 of these on the exam! Eep!

(Oh, and in case you were curious, the answer is C.)

Whew!

I turned in my last paper for law school last night. I think I'll have to surrender my procrastinator card; I submitted my paper 23 hours before the deadline. That's the earliest I've ever finished an assignment.

So, what this means, in clear and concise language, is:

I'm done with law school!!!

Graduation is on Saturday, and then I get to start studying for the bar exam.

The reality of it all hasn't sunk in yet. I'll have a more substantial post when it has.

Take Back the Night

I'm going to be serious for a moment today.

On Tuesday, I participated in a Take Back the Night march. Take Back the Night is a march that occurs on college campuses and in communities throughout the world as a demonstration against sexual assault and other forms of violence against women. From the official Take Back the Night site:

A woman walks alone down a dark, deserted street. With every shadow she sees, and every sound she hears, her pounding heart flutters and skips a beat. She hurries her pace as she sees her destination become closer. She is almost there. She reaches the front door, goes inside, collects herself, and moves on forgetting, at least for tonight, the gripping fear that momentarily enveloped her life. This scene could have occurred anywhere last night, last year, or even 100 years ago. Historically, women faced the anxiety of walking alone at night and that is why Take Back the Night began.

I'm sure I speak for nearly all women when I say that I can relate to that feeling of anxiety while walking alone after dark. I used to work nights in unsavory areas of town, and although nothing ever happened to me, there was always the gripping fear of "what if".

The event began with a rally. A student who was majoring in music wrote and performed a song. I don't remember all of it, but the refrain stuck with me. "It is our right. We will take back the night."

Then a professor addressed us. He asked us to reflect on why we were there that evening. He indicated that many of the people present had likely been victims of sexual assault. (Statistically, one out of four women will be a victim of some form of sexual assault at some point in her life.) As I internalized that reality, I began to feel like I did not belong at the event because I was not one of the victims.

After the speech, we began a candlelight march around campus and through the streets of Santa Clara. I was still reflecting on the professor's remarks. Then I had a realization that I did belong there.

I have made certain promises to God about how I will relate to my fellow humans.

[A]nd now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in...
Mosiah 18:8-9

I was there to mourn with those who mourned and comfort those who stood in need of comfort. I was there to stand in solidarity with my sisters as we declared that we would not be intimidated. I was there on behalf of all women to take back the night.

Ode to Mineral Makeup

I've been so swamped with school and work that I haven't had time to blog. But today, I've decided to write an ode to mineral makeup. (Waxing poetic about makeup is really out of character for me, but whatever.)

I switched to mineral makeup about 4 months ago because of concerns about the additives in conventional makeup. My endocrine system is extremely sensitive these days, so I have to reduce my exposure to a laundry list of synthetic chemicals. Mineral makeup is all natural, so I decided to give it a try.

I love it! My rosacea has cleared up. Plus the makeup feels like it isn't even there. It stays on all day and looks natural. It also provides sun protection. My skin glows!

Jen thinks I'm a crazy hippie for using it (but then, she thinks I'm a crazy hippie anyway).

It's messy to put on, and it takes longer in the morning. (10-15 minutes instead of 5 minutes for conventional makeup) It's so worth it, though!

Update

I've been swamped with school. (What else is new?) I just realized it's been over a month since I've blogged, so here goes:

In the past month, my paper on religious exercise in prison has been downloaded 19 times and has made the top 10 for the religion and culture e-journal.

I'm currently working on a paper about the TSA's security screening procedures and a paper about the development of religiously based legal systems. Oh, and I'm in the process of moving to a new apartment. And I'm working.

I'm beginning to think that instead of being a human resources professional who writes, I'm a writer who works in human resources. Too bad writers don't make any money.

I'm getting better about that whole procrastination thing, but I'm not getting any better results. This semester, I got so swamped with everything that I'm doing the same last-minute scramble that I've always done. Only this time it was out of necessity instead of laziness.

My Paper is on SSRN!

Wow, I've been pretty neglectful of blogging lately. I've gotten swamped with work and school. I have some great news, though.

Remember that paper I've been moaning and complaining about? Well, I've posted it on SSRN! SSRN is the Social Science Research Network, an online repository of scholarly writing on a variety of subjects.

Now I just have to wait for the Supreme Court to rule so that I can re-write one section and then I can submit it to law reviews for publication. I'm way excited!

If you want to read my article, Religious Exercise in Prison - A Guide for Prison Officials, you can get it here.