Random Thoughts, Again

Getting there is half the fun.
I'm going to a conference in Dallas in February. I'm not willing to fly, given the new TSA screening procedures. (Seriously, if I'm going to be touched like that, I at least deserve dinner and flowers first!) So, I get to take a Greyhound bus instead. It'll take a day and a half each way. That's the drawback of living out west where the states are huge, I suppose. Back east, you can drive for a few hours and be three or four states away. Here, you can drive all day and still be in the same state. Small price to pay to keep my dignity, though.

Micromanagers.
There's a special place in the afterlife for micromanagers, and I don't mean heaven. Seriously, if you give me a deadline of 11:59 pm, don't e-mail me at 9 pm demanding an explanation as to why I haven't finished yet. I'll get to it. I'm busy. You may be living off of scholarships and have a spouse who takes care of your household, thus leaving you free to focus all of your energy on school. I, on the other hand, have to earn a living, maintain a household, and do school. All by myself. And I have a heavier class load than you do. So seriously, back off. All your e-mail did was make me want to passive-aggressively wait until midnight to upload my work even though I finished at 10. However, I took the high road and uploaded at 10 anyway.

Twitter.
I finally signed up for Twitter. I'm the queen of brevity, but it's really hard to say anything in 140 characters or less. Especially because I insist on not abusing the English language to do so.

The End of Procrastination

I'm a chronic procrastinator. It's probably my biggest character flaw. (Well, that, and I'm a scatterbrain and prone to arrogance, but one problem at a time.) It's something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I have so many varied interests that I enjoy studying, but I'll put off what I have to do until the last minute. This is most pronounced in my writing. I can churn out a blog post in nothing flat, but when I have a deadline for school, I can't seem to get my creative juices flowing until the last minute.

Many of my professors have spotted the big problem in my writing: I don't show my work enough. There are holes in my papers because I neglect to fill them in. When it comes time to put the words on paper, I skip over stuff because I'm up against a deadline and don't have time to do the subject justice.

I've been trying to figure out why I procrastinate. I genuinely enjoy what I do. I love studying the law and I want to be a law professor. I'm going to have to write articles on a regular basis, and I can't keep leaving things to the last minute. It hit me this morning while driving into work after pulling an all-nighter to get my latest draft done. My draft was pure garbage, but I consoled myself with the knowledge that if only I had had more time, it would have been better. By procrastinating, I absolve myself of the responsibility of producing bad work.

More than anything else, I fear failure. I always have. If I had truly given it my best and it was bad, that would have been devastating to me. But, I sabotage myself by my procrastination. Since it wasn't my best effort (since time didn't permit my best effort), I don't have to face the possibility that my best isn't good enough.

I can't keep doing this. Procrastination is making me miserable and keeping me from living up to my potential. But I don't know how to stop. It's such an ingrained habit - it has become a coping mechanism.

I'm sure procrastination is a common problem, so I'm throwing it out to the wisdom of the crowd. If any of you have made progress in overcoming procrastination, how did you do it?

Procrastination stops today! (Not tomorrow, which is what I would have said before this epiphany.)

Two Lawyers Walk Into a Bar...

The bar has been wreaking havoc on my life this week. (The association for lawyers, not the local adult beverage establishment.)

Saturday night, I had my first bar exam dream. Well, the dream wasn't really about the exam itself. It was about the aftermath. I had a dream that I failed the exam. I was one point short of a passing score. At least I didn't dream that I forgot about the test or that I couldn't remember what a contract was.

I started working on my moral character application today. In addition to listing every job I've had and every place I've lived since I was 18 years old, I have to submit the names of five 'responsible and reputable individuals' who know me well and who can vouch for my good moral character. At least one of them must be a member of the State Bar of California. I'm sure there's a lawyer joke in there somewhere.

The moral character application has to be submitted online. I created an online account with the bar back in 2005 when I started law school. (All law students are required to.) Well, since it was 5 years ago, I have since forgotten my password. I clicked on the 'forgot password' button, hoping that it would e-mail me my password. Nope. It showed my security question and asked for an answer. Circa 2005, I was paranoid about security questions, so I would always just type gibberish to make it impossible for hackers to retrieve my password. Unfortunately, it's now also impossible for me to retrieve my password. I tried typing in random letters hoping that I would be able to recreate the exact string of gibberish I did 5 years ago, but no such luck. The website said to contact customer service, but there was no contact number for customer service. I hope I have enough receptionist good karma left over so that I can get to the customer service department tomorrow. (Somehow, I think trying to hack into my account would put a damper on the whole moral character thing, so I'm at the mercy of customer service.)

Fun.

Short Thoughts

It's been crazy lately. I've been working like a maniac and I've been busy with school. However, there's always time for a break to share some tidbits of my life.

Medical Marvel:
I'm a medical marvel. I got the results of my most recent adrenal test back. Even though I'm feeling better, my lab results are still off. Two areas of concern even got worse. Oh, well. At least I can get out of bed and function in society. Here's hoping that my December results end up being better.

Appliance Rebellion:
My apartment came without a dishwasher. When I was apartment hunting, I honestly didn't even notice the lack of a dishwasher. It's probably because I was in such a hurry to get out of the bad situation I was in that I was more concerned with just having a place to live. Well, the lack of a dishwasher started to get on my nerves, and I found a portable one on craigslist that hooks up to the kitchen sink. Earlier this week, it broke. Now I have to handwash my dishes again. Sigh.

Awkward Analogy of the Day:
I'm working with one of my professors on my supervised analytical writing requirement (i.e. thesis). I went to his office to talk to him about my progress, and I told him that I had put off coming because I didn't have as much work done as I would have liked. He told me that I should feel free to come when I'm stuck so that I can talk it out. Then he said that I would basically be giving birth to this article and that he was acting as the midwife. I really would have preferred something other than a childbirth analogy. But, there you have it. I think given the amount of stuff I have to say on my topic, it might end up being twins...

A Day in the Life of HR

I read zillions of resumes every day. Ones that make it past me go to the hiring manager for further review. Most of the time, each application is pretty similar to the one before. Every now and then, though, there's one that stands out. Today I had an application that stood out in a bad way.

All employment applications come through our company website. There's a form to fill out with a bunch of questions with yes/no radio buttons. For example: Have you ever applied to work for [company] before? Do you have a top-secret security clearance? etc. One of the questions is "Do you authorize [company] to verify your prior education and employment?" There are also a few fields that allow for text answers. One of those is "Please list your last five years of employment. Complete even if attaching a resume."

Well, today's applicant ticked me off from the very first line. (Hiring tip: Don't annoy the person reading your resume.) In response to the prior employment question, this person said, "See resume." That's annoying but fairly common. I kept reading. Anyway, the applicant did not authorize us to verify prior employment and education. That throws up a huge red flag for me. I kept reading anyway. (Usually I wouldn't.) At the end of the application is an open field where the applicant can input a cover letter or any other relevant information. (This is separate from the resume field.)

Most applicants leave the cover letter field blank. I'm cool with that because, honestly, I'm hiring engineers. I don't care about their cover letters. I never read them, and the hiring managers never see them. (My apologies to anyone who spends hours making perfect cover letters, but it's the honest truth. Other industries may be different.)

There was something in the cover letter field, and by this point, I was extremely curious to see what it said. Well, the applicant wrote, "You need larger fields if you expect serious responses to your questions. You ask for too much personal information and your questions are inappropriate." Yes, how dare I ask what degree you have, how much work experience you have, and whether or not you've applied previously?

The hiring manager never saw the resume.

I Made It Through the Week

What a week! It was the semi-annual worldwide meeting at work. Basically, that means everyone in the company is required to come to Sunnyvale for a week of meetings. We're a small company, but it's still a ton of work. I put in a lot of overtime, and it was crazy busy. It was busier than usual because this meeting had a lot of Boeing people, too, to celebrate the acquisition. I'm wiped out.

It drives me crazy when people treat me like their personal secretary. I work in human resources, and I'm second only to the vice president. My job involves recruiting employees and keeping morale up so that they stick around. Every now and then I have to help fire people, too. (I hate that part of the job.) Don't assume that just because I'm female, my job involves making your coffee, calling your cabs, and stamping your mail! Granted, I'm a nice person, and you're visiting a strange country, so I understand that you need help. But seriously, just ask nicely. Don't order me around and treat me as if I'm at your beck and call. Don't do it to the receptionist, either. Yes, it is her job, but seriously, a little please and thank you goes a long way.

I get the weekend off before going back to school. Unfortunately, instead of spending my time with my toes dangling in the pool while sipping (non-alcoholic) fruity umbrella drinks, I have to clean my apartment and do my homework. By Tuesday, I have to read 400 pages. It's going to be one of those semesters.

In other news, I'm fed up with AT&T. Last month my internet was down for a week because my modem went bad after only a few months. Since it was a leased modem, they sent a technician out to repair it. They didn't give me the option of just mailing me a new one. I'm quite capable of fixing my own internet connection if I have the proper equipment. Anyway, they charged me $55 for the privilege. I was already pretty upset at their outrageous prices and abysmal customer service, but this was the last straw. I'm switching to Comcast. For the same absurd price I was paying for my internet, I get internet and cable television. I don't care about the television, but Jen will be happy. Hopefully their customer service is better. Oh, and I get to own my modem this time. (They wanted me to lease one for $5 per month, but I bought a cheap one off of amazon.com for $15. It'll pay for itself in 3 months.)

Tales of a Cat Door

I like sleeping with my door shut. (It's a necessity with roommates, since everybody goes to bed and gets up at different times.) When I got Ebony, I quickly realized that I needed a new sleeping solution. The first few days after I got her, she would wake me up in the middle of the night wanting to go out into the living room at 3 am.

I decided that I needed to install a cat door in my bedroom door so that she could come and go as she pleased without bothering me. Since I lived in an apartment, I couldn't cut a hole in the door. I looked on craigslist and found someone who was selling old doors. (She was remodeling her house and getting new doors.) One of the doors was the right size for me, so I bought it. I hauled it home in my little Toyota. I have no idea how I made it fit. The door never closed properly, so I had to use gate latches to keep it shut, but it allowed Ebony to move in and out freely. When I moved from one apartment to the next, I took the door with me.

Where have all the croissants gone?

I managed to get out the door a few minutes early this morning. I have to be at work at 7:30 AM, so I usually end up eating breakfast at my desk while reading my e-mails for the morning. (The upside of working for a company with offices all around the world is that work never has to stop. The downside is that when I get in in the morning, I need to read all the e-mails that piled up overnight while the work didn't stop.)

Traffic was really light (what a difference 10 minutes can make), so I got to work at 7:05. I really wanted an Odwalla smoothie (Strawberry C Monster - it's one of the only ones without mango, and it tastes delicious) and an almond croissant. I know - total sugar frenzy, but it was my craving. Since I've worked really hard on the acquisition, I figured I would treat myself. So, I went to the grocery store up the road. I picked up the juice and then went to the bakery for the croissant. There were no croissants of any flavor. Plenty of donuts and bagels and Danishes, but no croissants. I bought my juice and put it in my car.

The grocery store is in a small shopping center. Also in that shopping center is a donut shop, a bagel shop, and a Starbucks. I walked into the donut shop, but they only had donuts. I walked into the bagel shop, but they only had bagels. I walked across the parking lot to Starbucks, figuring that they must have a croissant. Nope.

I almost bought a donut instead, until I remembered that I don't like donuts. It was roughly 7:15 by now. There's a little cafe right by work, so as a last ditch effort, I stopped in there. I don't like going to that cafe because the guy who works there is a bit unpleasant. I half expect him to say "No soup for you!" when someone orders their food. Anyway, he didn't have croissants, either.

I headed to work in defeat. Did the French do something to tick off the city of Sunnyvale, causing the entire town to boycott the decadent breakfast pastry? All I wanted was a croissant, and I struck out five times! It's a good thing I keep a box of raisin bran in my desk. That ended up being my breakfast today.

Top Ten Reasons Why Waterstone Is Better Than Pathfinder Village

My landlord has some silly interpretations of lease provisions, and my rent is a bit on the pricey side. However, life is good here at Waterstone. It's a zillion times better than it was in Pathfinder Village. (I have some other colorful names for Pathfinder, but this is a family blog.)

As I was listening to my upstairs neighbors step on every creaky floorboard last night, I began to get annoyed. Then I realized that if my biggest annoyance is creaky floorboards, I've got a pretty good deal. I decided to count my blessings. So, here are the top ten reasons why Waterstone is better than Pathfinder.

Responsible Consumer Behavior

We all need to buy things. Nobody can be entirely self-sufficient. That's okay, though. One basic tenet of economic theory is that specialization leads to the creation of wealth, due to economies of scale. Instead of everyone making their own widgets and sprockets, we're better off having widget makers and sprocket makers. Trade is born.

Bible Names for Girls

I've been thinking about what I want to name my future (as yet unconceived, don't get any ideas...) children. I've always favored Bible names. I think it's because I have such an uncommon name and it's unpronounceable to many of my neighbors. (Note to future parents: If you contemplate living in an area with a large population of native Spanish speakers, don't give your kids a German name.)

This affinity for Bible names will work quite well if I have sons. There are plenty of great male names. Since history was written by men and tends to ignore the female contribution to society, there are fewer names I could give my daughters. Here's a sprinkling of names I've considered and my thoughts on them.

Brain Fog

The problem with keeping two blogs under two different names is that sometimes I forget which blog I'm signed into when I write a post. So, if you happened to see a blog post that didn't make much sense, it was meant for the other blog. I've since taken it down from here. I blame the login gremlins or the html goblins. Take your pick.

Some cheese with my whine...

I usually try to keep this blog fairly upbeat. However, today, I’m going to complain. I hear a little bit of complaining can be healthy, and goodness knows I could use a little bit of healthiness right now.

I’m exhausted! Not just the usual stayed up too late tired or the need a vacation tired. The bone-numbingly drained feeling that can only be described as feeling like something has been leeching the life force out of me for months and is reaching the bottom of the barrel.

Around Town

I meant to blog this one last week, but I was busy. Last Monday, on my lunch break, I drove to the library to check out a book. The library is about a 10 minute drive from work, and when I got downtown, I saw a police van.

It was one of those fifteen passenger vans with the back windows made of car body material instead of glass. Along with the standard police painting, it had the words "School Services" painted on the back. I had a mental image of the van driving up and down Castro Street rounding up truants. It reminded me of the scene in the Disney movie Lady and the Tramp where the dog catcher rode around town picking up strays.

When I was a kid, I didn't believe that truant officers existed. I thought they were boogeymen that parents made up to scare their kids into going to school. Whenever I was sick and tried to convince my mom to let me stay home, if she thought I was faking it, she would say that the truant officer would come. Sometimes she said the truant officer would arrest me, and sometimes she said the truant officer would arrest her. I never believed her. (I still think she was exaggerating. They have bigger things to worry about than one kid who allegedly fakes being sick for one day.)

How Not to Job Hunt

I review zillions of job applications. I’ve seen good ones, mediocre ones, and bad ones. However, there’s one recently that took the cake. If any of you are looking for jobs, please don’t do this. It’s the fastest way to remove yourself from consideration.