Twisted Word Interpretations - Landlord Edition

When I started law school five years ago, I thought I knew what words meant. After all, I used to read the dictionary as a kid. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that perfectly normal words like "reasonable", "person", "willful", "knowing", "reckless", etc. also have legal meanings that are only tangentially related to their common meanings.

I've gotten used to words not meaning what they seem to mean. However, yesterday I ran across the most ridiculous interpretation of a phrase I've ever seen, courtesy of my landlord. My landlord likes to make silly little rules. One of them involves exercising tight control over the balconies. As I mentioned previously, my balcony had no privacy, so I put up a tiki fence to correct that problem. It was up for a week and a half with no complaints.

Last night, when I got home, there was a form letter taped to my door from the landlord. The letter said that I was in violation of such and such section of my lease, governing balcony contents. There was a checklist of potential violations. The list included:
Hanging laundry out to dry
Boxes
Dead plants
Holiday lights
Bicycles

The box next to holiday lights was checked, and then there was a handwritten note next to the line item informing me that my tiki fence was the offending item. Now, I'm no stranger to creative argument, but seriously, under what reasonable interpretation does this qualify as "holiday lights"?



I went to the office this morning to find out if there was a way I could get my balcony privacy without upsetting the management. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hi, I have a question. I got this note yesterday saying that you think my tiki fence is holiday lights--
Leasing agent (interrupting me): You can't have a tiki fence.
Me (slightly testy, but keeping my cool): Why not?
Manager (cutting off whatever the leasing agent was about to say): It's not allowed.
Me: What can I put up that will give me privacy without upsetting you?
Manager: The balconies have to be uniform. (pause) Some residents put up clear netting because they let their kids out on the balcony and they don't want them to fall through.
Me: So, what can I put up for privacy?
Manager: Clear netting.
Me: I understand that I can put up clear netting for safety. What about privacy?
Manager: You can put up clear netting.
Me (getting really annoyed by this point): So, what you're saying is that I can't have privacy on my balcony?
Manager: Yes. That's what I'm saying.

At this point, I mumbled some falsely polite "thank you very much" while storming out of the office. After I calmed down, I remembered that plants are allowed. I went back to the office and asked if they had any unwritten rules about plants. I was assured that I can have as many of whatever kinds of plants I want as long as they're not attached to the railing, and as long as they don't drip onto my neighbor's balcony.

I went to the local craft store, and they were having a clearance sale on fake ficus trees. I bought a whole bunch and now I have a forest fence. It's not as good as the tiki fence, but it at least sort of shields my balcony from the prying eyes of my neighbors.

Does anyone need tiki fencing? I have about 32 feet of it that I don't have any use for anymore.