Awesome News!

My Supervised Analytical Writing Requirement was signed off on today! (That's the law school version of "I just successfully defended my thesis!") What a relief. I didn't even have to do a re-write. I suppose that's because I had to do three drafts. My professor is probably sick of RLUIPA and never wants to hear about it again.

(Honestly, I'm sick of RLUIPA and never want to hear about it again...)

First Week of School

I survived my first week of the semester! Last semester was really rough, but I think this one is going to be great! I'm filling up entirely on electives and I only have to be in class 2 days per week. This is great because I'm working full-time, too.

I have a pretty good crop of professors. Two of them are re-runs, and I specifically chose them because they're great. I got to hear the familiar cynical comments about legal academia and stories about Mono County!

The third one seems really laid back and cool. He started out the first day of class by telling us that he got bad grades in school and still turned out ok. (He even got rejected from SCU law school twice and is now a prof here! Awesome!) Then he gave us a funny pep talk reminding us that we'll all eventually pass the bar and get a job and that we shouldn't give up. He's totally the opposite of the doom and gloom that most professors preach. (The whole, if you're not in the top 10% of the class, your life is ruined and you'll never get a job garbage.)

I'm also doing independent study to get credit for writing an article on the TSA, and I'm getting credit for being an editor on the high tech law journal.

Happy New Year! (and a new blog)

Happy New Year, everyone! It's that time of the year when we make resolutions that last for a few weeks.

Well, this year, I'm going to make resolutions that stick.

• The first one is that I'm going to get back into working out. Law school has really put a damper on that. I'm going to do the couch to 5k program, since running is free and I don't have to set aside time to go to a class. I need to lose 10 lbs, and hopefully running will be the way to do that.
• My second resolution is to finish law school, pass the bar exam, and get a job in the law field.
• My third resolution is to figure out what to do with my food storage. That's where my new blog comes in. I'm going to eat primarily from my food storage this year and blog my adventures. (Don't worry, I'll still blog my randomness here.) My new blog is called Food Storage for the Rest of Us. Go on, check it out, you know you want to. ;-)

Here's to a great 2011!

Merry Christmas

I'm going to break from my tradition of funny blog posts to pause for a Christmas message.

Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
Matthew 1:23

This is the miracle of Christmas - that God is with us, that He came to dwell on Earth as one of us to bear our pains and sorrows and save us from sin and death. God has many names. One of my favorites is Prince of Peace.

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
Isaiah 9:6, emphasis added

At this time, when war ravages parts of the earth, and when inner turmoil ravages the hearts of many, it's nice to pause and remember that the Prince of Peace was born in a humble stable in Bethlehem. It was heralded by angels but unnoticed by all except for a few shepherds and wise men.

On this Christmas Eve, as we pause to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, I join with the angelic choir proclaiming the aspirational message of peace on earth and good will toward humankind.

Merry Christmas!

It's an Article!

Going along with the awkward childbirth analogy relating to my supervised analytical writing requirement (which is more or less analogous to a thesis), I have an announcement to make.

At 5:30 this morning, Pacific Standard Time, I gave birth to a healthy and beautiful seminar paper. Labor was lengthy and protracted. There were complications and it was touch and go for a while, but thanks to supportive classmates and a talented and patient paper midwife, both author and paper are doing fine. Its name is Religious Exercise in Prison - A Guide for Prison Officials. It was 5,500 words long and weighed 4 ounces. After the Christening (in a month or so), there will be a virtual reception on SSRN where anyone who is interested can meet the lovely paper.

I have high hopes that this paper will sometime in the next few months grow up into a fine, upstanding law review article. This paper joins its sibling Hagar's Sisters: Gestational Surrogacy in the 21st Century, which will be entered into a writing competition next month and which I also hope will grow into an article. Look for this paper to be in attendance at next month's SSRN reception as well.

I would also like to announce that I'm expecting another paper in the near future. Its name will be I'm (Not) Leaving on a Jet Plane - The TSA's Unconstitutional Screening Procedures. I'm excited for my growing family of ideas. Pretty soon I'll have such a full portfolio that I'll have to move out of my little student apartment and take up residence in the ivory tower!

----
Ok, this blog post is proof that I didn't get enough sleep last night. But, here you go, my silliness at its finest. I'm so tired that everything is funny. I'm way too old to be pulling all-nighters! Oh, to be 19 again...

Happy (Belated) Thanksgiving

I didn't get a chance to do a Thanksgiving post this year. So, since ingratitude is a sin, I figured I should rectify that by posting something now. Better late than never. (I'm really trying on that whole procrastination thing.)

I spent my Thanksgiving weekend writing about the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act. (RLUIPA for short.) It sounds like a strange juxtaposition of ideas, and honestly, it is. (I won't bore you with the details of why land use and institutionalized persons ended up in the same statute.) Anyway, lots of ink has been spilled about the land use portion of the law. Not too many people have dealt with the institutionalized persons section. Since I have to make a unique contribution to human knowledge (pesky requirements for getting a doctorate and all that), I'm writing about the institutionalized persons section of RLUIPA. As a result, I've been reading about all the stuff that goes on in prison.

So, I'm grateful that somebody taught me to read so that I could read these cases. (I don't remember learning to read, so I'm assuming my parents were the ones who taught me. By the time I was in school, I already knew.)
I'm grateful that my professor didn't yell at me when I turned in a really lousy draft. I'm grateful to the other professor who (according to the rumor mill) convinced my professor to chill out a bit.
I'm grateful that I'm not in prison. It's really a nasty place there. I'm also grateful that I can practice my religion without having to sue for it.
I'll really be grateful when this paper is done. The scary thought is that when I'm finished, I'll probably be one of the leading authorities on the institutionalized persons section of RLUIPA. I'm not sure if I'm ready to be the leading authority on anything. (Well, I'm the leading authority on how to use the HR database at work, but that's much less complicated than federal law. All I have to do is check the code every now and then to make sure the HTML gremlins haven't misplaced a tag. It's amazing how often that happens.)

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and that you're having a wonderful Advent season!

An Ode to My Scarf

My scarf is the most versatile item of clothing in my wardrobe. It's awesome! It's striped in various shades of blue, my favorite color. Elisabeth got it for me when she was studying in London. I've used it for various purposes:

1. To keep my neck warm.
This is the typical use of a scarf. I can tie it in so many different ways depending on my mood and on how cold it is.
2. To keep my shoulders warm.
It's big enough to be used as a shawl. This is helpful especially at church, where the chapel has two temperatures: Cold and colder.
3. To keep my head warm.
When I've taken trips to Utah in the winter, I've wrapped my scarf around my ears to keep the chill out.
4. To protect from sunburn.
I burst into flames when exposed to direct sunlight. (Don't worry; I'm not a vampire - just a redhead.) I can wear my scarf over my head to keep the sun off of me to protect from sunburn. It works especially well at high school graduations.
5. To show respect to other cultures.
I've traveled abroad, and in some of the places I've been, I've visited holy sites that require women to cover their hair. My scarf is a nice portable way to do that.
6. Emergency change of clothes.
I've even used my scarf as a skirt. I used to work nights doing in-home health care. When I worked the Saturday night shift, I would get off on Sunday mornings just in time to go home and change for church. One day, my relief person was late. I was able to use my scarf as a skirt so that I didn't have to go home to change. I was still on time to church.

I wonder if there are other creative uses I haven't thought of yet. (Today my scarf is keeping my neck warm.)

Random Thoughts, Again

Getting there is half the fun.
I'm going to a conference in Dallas in February. I'm not willing to fly, given the new TSA screening procedures. (Seriously, if I'm going to be touched like that, I at least deserve dinner and flowers first!) So, I get to take a Greyhound bus instead. It'll take a day and a half each way. That's the drawback of living out west where the states are huge, I suppose. Back east, you can drive for a few hours and be three or four states away. Here, you can drive all day and still be in the same state. Small price to pay to keep my dignity, though.

Micromanagers.
There's a special place in the afterlife for micromanagers, and I don't mean heaven. Seriously, if you give me a deadline of 11:59 pm, don't e-mail me at 9 pm demanding an explanation as to why I haven't finished yet. I'll get to it. I'm busy. You may be living off of scholarships and have a spouse who takes care of your household, thus leaving you free to focus all of your energy on school. I, on the other hand, have to earn a living, maintain a household, and do school. All by myself. And I have a heavier class load than you do. So seriously, back off. All your e-mail did was make me want to passive-aggressively wait until midnight to upload my work even though I finished at 10. However, I took the high road and uploaded at 10 anyway.

Twitter.
I finally signed up for Twitter. I'm the queen of brevity, but it's really hard to say anything in 140 characters or less. Especially because I insist on not abusing the English language to do so.

The End of Procrastination

I'm a chronic procrastinator. It's probably my biggest character flaw. (Well, that, and I'm a scatterbrain and prone to arrogance, but one problem at a time.) It's something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I have so many varied interests that I enjoy studying, but I'll put off what I have to do until the last minute. This is most pronounced in my writing. I can churn out a blog post in nothing flat, but when I have a deadline for school, I can't seem to get my creative juices flowing until the last minute.

Many of my professors have spotted the big problem in my writing: I don't show my work enough. There are holes in my papers because I neglect to fill them in. When it comes time to put the words on paper, I skip over stuff because I'm up against a deadline and don't have time to do the subject justice.

I've been trying to figure out why I procrastinate. I genuinely enjoy what I do. I love studying the law and I want to be a law professor. I'm going to have to write articles on a regular basis, and I can't keep leaving things to the last minute. It hit me this morning while driving into work after pulling an all-nighter to get my latest draft done. My draft was pure garbage, but I consoled myself with the knowledge that if only I had had more time, it would have been better. By procrastinating, I absolve myself of the responsibility of producing bad work.

More than anything else, I fear failure. I always have. If I had truly given it my best and it was bad, that would have been devastating to me. But, I sabotage myself by my procrastination. Since it wasn't my best effort (since time didn't permit my best effort), I don't have to face the possibility that my best isn't good enough.

I can't keep doing this. Procrastination is making me miserable and keeping me from living up to my potential. But I don't know how to stop. It's such an ingrained habit - it has become a coping mechanism.

I'm sure procrastination is a common problem, so I'm throwing it out to the wisdom of the crowd. If any of you have made progress in overcoming procrastination, how did you do it?

Procrastination stops today! (Not tomorrow, which is what I would have said before this epiphany.)

Two Lawyers Walk Into a Bar...

The bar has been wreaking havoc on my life this week. (The association for lawyers, not the local adult beverage establishment.)

Saturday night, I had my first bar exam dream. Well, the dream wasn't really about the exam itself. It was about the aftermath. I had a dream that I failed the exam. I was one point short of a passing score. At least I didn't dream that I forgot about the test or that I couldn't remember what a contract was.

I started working on my moral character application today. In addition to listing every job I've had and every place I've lived since I was 18 years old, I have to submit the names of five 'responsible and reputable individuals' who know me well and who can vouch for my good moral character. At least one of them must be a member of the State Bar of California. I'm sure there's a lawyer joke in there somewhere.

The moral character application has to be submitted online. I created an online account with the bar back in 2005 when I started law school. (All law students are required to.) Well, since it was 5 years ago, I have since forgotten my password. I clicked on the 'forgot password' button, hoping that it would e-mail me my password. Nope. It showed my security question and asked for an answer. Circa 2005, I was paranoid about security questions, so I would always just type gibberish to make it impossible for hackers to retrieve my password. Unfortunately, it's now also impossible for me to retrieve my password. I tried typing in random letters hoping that I would be able to recreate the exact string of gibberish I did 5 years ago, but no such luck. The website said to contact customer service, but there was no contact number for customer service. I hope I have enough receptionist good karma left over so that I can get to the customer service department tomorrow. (Somehow, I think trying to hack into my account would put a damper on the whole moral character thing, so I'm at the mercy of customer service.)

Fun.

Short Thoughts

It's been crazy lately. I've been working like a maniac and I've been busy with school. However, there's always time for a break to share some tidbits of my life.

Medical Marvel:
I'm a medical marvel. I got the results of my most recent adrenal test back. Even though I'm feeling better, my lab results are still off. Two areas of concern even got worse. Oh, well. At least I can get out of bed and function in society. Here's hoping that my December results end up being better.

Appliance Rebellion:
My apartment came without a dishwasher. When I was apartment hunting, I honestly didn't even notice the lack of a dishwasher. It's probably because I was in such a hurry to get out of the bad situation I was in that I was more concerned with just having a place to live. Well, the lack of a dishwasher started to get on my nerves, and I found a portable one on craigslist that hooks up to the kitchen sink. Earlier this week, it broke. Now I have to handwash my dishes again. Sigh.

Awkward Analogy of the Day:
I'm working with one of my professors on my supervised analytical writing requirement (i.e. thesis). I went to his office to talk to him about my progress, and I told him that I had put off coming because I didn't have as much work done as I would have liked. He told me that I should feel free to come when I'm stuck so that I can talk it out. Then he said that I would basically be giving birth to this article and that he was acting as the midwife. I really would have preferred something other than a childbirth analogy. But, there you have it. I think given the amount of stuff I have to say on my topic, it might end up being twins...

A Day in the Life of HR

I read zillions of resumes every day. Ones that make it past me go to the hiring manager for further review. Most of the time, each application is pretty similar to the one before. Every now and then, though, there's one that stands out. Today I had an application that stood out in a bad way.

All employment applications come through our company website. There's a form to fill out with a bunch of questions with yes/no radio buttons. For example: Have you ever applied to work for [company] before? Do you have a top-secret security clearance? etc. One of the questions is "Do you authorize [company] to verify your prior education and employment?" There are also a few fields that allow for text answers. One of those is "Please list your last five years of employment. Complete even if attaching a resume."

Well, today's applicant ticked me off from the very first line. (Hiring tip: Don't annoy the person reading your resume.) In response to the prior employment question, this person said, "See resume." That's annoying but fairly common. I kept reading. Anyway, the applicant did not authorize us to verify prior employment and education. That throws up a huge red flag for me. I kept reading anyway. (Usually I wouldn't.) At the end of the application is an open field where the applicant can input a cover letter or any other relevant information. (This is separate from the resume field.)

Most applicants leave the cover letter field blank. I'm cool with that because, honestly, I'm hiring engineers. I don't care about their cover letters. I never read them, and the hiring managers never see them. (My apologies to anyone who spends hours making perfect cover letters, but it's the honest truth. Other industries may be different.)

There was something in the cover letter field, and by this point, I was extremely curious to see what it said. Well, the applicant wrote, "You need larger fields if you expect serious responses to your questions. You ask for too much personal information and your questions are inappropriate." Yes, how dare I ask what degree you have, how much work experience you have, and whether or not you've applied previously?

The hiring manager never saw the resume.

I Made It Through the Week

What a week! It was the semi-annual worldwide meeting at work. Basically, that means everyone in the company is required to come to Sunnyvale for a week of meetings. We're a small company, but it's still a ton of work. I put in a lot of overtime, and it was crazy busy. It was busier than usual because this meeting had a lot of Boeing people, too, to celebrate the acquisition. I'm wiped out.

It drives me crazy when people treat me like their personal secretary. I work in human resources, and I'm second only to the vice president. My job involves recruiting employees and keeping morale up so that they stick around. Every now and then I have to help fire people, too. (I hate that part of the job.) Don't assume that just because I'm female, my job involves making your coffee, calling your cabs, and stamping your mail! Granted, I'm a nice person, and you're visiting a strange country, so I understand that you need help. But seriously, just ask nicely. Don't order me around and treat me as if I'm at your beck and call. Don't do it to the receptionist, either. Yes, it is her job, but seriously, a little please and thank you goes a long way.

I get the weekend off before going back to school. Unfortunately, instead of spending my time with my toes dangling in the pool while sipping (non-alcoholic) fruity umbrella drinks, I have to clean my apartment and do my homework. By Tuesday, I have to read 400 pages. It's going to be one of those semesters.

In other news, I'm fed up with AT&T. Last month my internet was down for a week because my modem went bad after only a few months. Since it was a leased modem, they sent a technician out to repair it. They didn't give me the option of just mailing me a new one. I'm quite capable of fixing my own internet connection if I have the proper equipment. Anyway, they charged me $55 for the privilege. I was already pretty upset at their outrageous prices and abysmal customer service, but this was the last straw. I'm switching to Comcast. For the same absurd price I was paying for my internet, I get internet and cable television. I don't care about the television, but Jen will be happy. Hopefully their customer service is better. Oh, and I get to own my modem this time. (They wanted me to lease one for $5 per month, but I bought a cheap one off of amazon.com for $15. It'll pay for itself in 3 months.)

Tales of a Cat Door

I like sleeping with my door shut. (It's a necessity with roommates, since everybody goes to bed and gets up at different times.) When I got Ebony, I quickly realized that I needed a new sleeping solution. The first few days after I got her, she would wake me up in the middle of the night wanting to go out into the living room at 3 am.

I decided that I needed to install a cat door in my bedroom door so that she could come and go as she pleased without bothering me. Since I lived in an apartment, I couldn't cut a hole in the door. I looked on craigslist and found someone who was selling old doors. (She was remodeling her house and getting new doors.) One of the doors was the right size for me, so I bought it. I hauled it home in my little Toyota. I have no idea how I made it fit. The door never closed properly, so I had to use gate latches to keep it shut, but it allowed Ebony to move in and out freely. When I moved from one apartment to the next, I took the door with me.

Where have all the croissants gone?

I managed to get out the door a few minutes early this morning. I have to be at work at 7:30 AM, so I usually end up eating breakfast at my desk while reading my e-mails for the morning. (The upside of working for a company with offices all around the world is that work never has to stop. The downside is that when I get in in the morning, I need to read all the e-mails that piled up overnight while the work didn't stop.)

Traffic was really light (what a difference 10 minutes can make), so I got to work at 7:05. I really wanted an Odwalla smoothie (Strawberry C Monster - it's one of the only ones without mango, and it tastes delicious) and an almond croissant. I know - total sugar frenzy, but it was my craving. Since I've worked really hard on the acquisition, I figured I would treat myself. So, I went to the grocery store up the road. I picked up the juice and then went to the bakery for the croissant. There were no croissants of any flavor. Plenty of donuts and bagels and Danishes, but no croissants. I bought my juice and put it in my car.

The grocery store is in a small shopping center. Also in that shopping center is a donut shop, a bagel shop, and a Starbucks. I walked into the donut shop, but they only had donuts. I walked into the bagel shop, but they only had bagels. I walked across the parking lot to Starbucks, figuring that they must have a croissant. Nope.

I almost bought a donut instead, until I remembered that I don't like donuts. It was roughly 7:15 by now. There's a little cafe right by work, so as a last ditch effort, I stopped in there. I don't like going to that cafe because the guy who works there is a bit unpleasant. I half expect him to say "No soup for you!" when someone orders their food. Anyway, he didn't have croissants, either.

I headed to work in defeat. Did the French do something to tick off the city of Sunnyvale, causing the entire town to boycott the decadent breakfast pastry? All I wanted was a croissant, and I struck out five times! It's a good thing I keep a box of raisin bran in my desk. That ended up being my breakfast today.