Wanderlust

I'm feeling restless.

I'm torn in two directions. On the one hand, I've never stayed in one place for very long. On the other hand, I yearn for permanence.

When I was a kid, I moved around a lot. By the time I was in 5th grade, I had gone to 5 different elementary schools. It was pretty miserable always being the new kid. As an adult, I've moved every year or two. I've always stayed in the Bay Area, but I've lived in multiple cities.

The Bay Area is my home, but I'm starting to feel like there's no real reason for me to stay here anymore. When it comes right down to it, the only reason I'm still here is because my job is here. I'm in a job that pays the bills (barely) but doesn't make full use of my skills. It's not a terrible job, by any means. It's a pretty inoffensive way to earn some money, but it's not what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I'm not responsible for anyone but myself, so I have the freedom to go anywhere without having to consult anyone else. It's so tempting to pack all of my belongings into my car and head out into the great unknown to start a new life.

Maybe I've spent so much time moving around that I don't know how to stay in one place. Or maybe I just haven't found the right place yet. Or maybe I'm really looking for a metaphysical place, not a physical place. Maybe if I had a fulfilling job I wouldn't spend so much time daydreaming about the green grass on the other side of the fence.

If I get a job teaching at a law school, the chances are pretty good that I'll end up moving. But that's at least a year or two away. I'm not sure what to do until then.