I traveled out of town this weekend to spend Christmas with my family. (Merry slightly belated Christmas. Mine was great. How was yours?) I had no trouble getting there. One thing I will say about the Oakland airport - they know how to do inoffensive, efficient security. I headed to the airport after work on Wednesday night, and I got to Salt Lake City a few hours later. The most adventure came when I was packed like sardines on BART.
Of course, on Christmas day, a would-be terrorist decided to try to blow up an airplane. (Fortunately, he failed.) Predictably, this means extra inconveniences for law-abiding citizens. First, as a result of the new security measures, I could only have one carry-on instead of the standard carry on and personal item. This meant that I had to jam the contents of my purse into my laptop bag.
Since TSA won't actually tell us what the new security regulations are, I didn't quite know what to do do prepare. I got to the Salt Lake airport about 90 minutes prior to my flight. (Since I don't check luggage, I usually get there 45 minutes before.) I went to security and got in line. I was pleased that the line was moving quickly, and I figured maybe the blogosphere overreacted.
When I got to the place where I had to take off my shoes and unpack my carefully packed luggage to prove that I brush with Crest, use Dove face wash, and wear Cover Girl Creamy Natural Fragrance Free makeup, I saw something strange. (Yes, I realize that walking around the airport in purple polka-dotted socks while carrying my shoes is already strange, but I digress...) The metal detector was gone, replaced by some space-age looking contraption. It turns out that it's one of those fancy machines that can see through your clothes.
I had heard about those machines and the controversy that their invention generated, but I didn't know that they were being rolled out in airports yet. I thought they were still theoretical. Anyway, I had to stand in this clear plastic tube with my hands in the air while being stared at by two stern TSA agents - one male and one female. Then I was instructed to step to the side. I stood there for a few minutes while the female agent was talking on her walkie-talkie. (I couldn't hear what she was saying, and her back was to me, so I couldn't read her lips.)
Apparently, the naked scanner picked up something baffling. The agent asked me if I had something in my pocket. I assured her that I did not. She said that she would have to pat me down. So, in addition to being subjected to a technological strip-search, I had to have a stranger touch me in a rather invasive manner. The offending object? An article of religious clothing.
Once I got out of there, I went to the x-ray conveyor belt to pick up my carry-on luggage. I was faced with another TSA agent who pointed to my laptop and asked me if it was mine. I said that it was. He asked me if he could search it. Fortunately, I was able to keep my wits about me, and I refrained from mouthing off to him. (It took a lot of self-control, let me tell you.) I smiled politely and asked him if he intended to turn it on. His demeanor suddenly changed; he became more polite and conciliatory. I could tell that he wasn't used to people standing up to him. He said that he did not intend to turn it on, only swab it. As I was formulating my response, he invited me to watch as he did it. I said that I would. (There's no way I'm letting my laptop out of my sight. I've heard too many stories.) He swabbed it, and then he sent me on my way.
I collected my belongings, re-packed my bag, re-shod myself, and walked to my gate. When I got there, I found that my flight was delayed. I sat down and started thinking about my little experience. It was violating. First, technology looked through my clothing. Second, I felt singled out because of my religion. (I can only imagine what people who wear visible religious garments must go through on a regular basis.) Third, the only thing that saved my laptop from being removed from my sight was my willingness to question authority.
Do I feel safer as a result? Not really. I can think of several ways to cause havoc on an airplane. Every one of the ways I can come up with is something I learned in seventh grade science, and I could get everything necessary through even the enhanced security. So, if someone who has no nefarious intentions and no formal bad-guy training could figure it out, I'm sure that people who want to blow up airplanes can still do so.
5 comments:
The interesting thing is that happened in the Salt Lake airport, where I'm sure thousands of people with the very same religious clothing go through security every day. Come on!
They've had those particular machines for about a year or so in the Salt Lake airport. They scared my poor grandma so much!
New tagline: TSA - Keeping you safe from Grandma, Congressmembers, and Al Gore since 2001. We're still working on terrorists.
Have you heard Lewis Black's set about going through the Miami airport security? Crazy stuff.
As for the see-though-your-clothes machine, I've heard about people freaking out about them, in theory. However, I've yet to hear about anyone actually taking much issue with them once they see how the image comes out. (If you haven't seen it, I can assure you the machine does nothing near turning one into an amateur burlesque entertainer.)
I have to agree with Angeline. I would have understood if it were some other airport...but in SLC? Now I know everyone that lives here isn't LDS, but they've gotta be familiar with it...right? Sheesh!
Post a Comment