Found

I either went out and did the best thing for myself or the stupidest thing in the history of stupidity. Time will tell.

I quit my job this morning. (Technically, I tendered my resignation, effective May 11.) My boss tried to offer me more money to stay. (Oh, so now she thinks I'm worth more, when I'm ready to walk out the door.) I told her it wasn't about the money. She pried, so I told her my ethical concerns with the product. She didn't believe me. She thought I was using that as a cover for something else.

It was really scary to quit without another job lined up. It goes against all business advice. But I feel as if an enormous weight has been lifted off of me. I wasn't really able to interview for jobs while working because I couldn't get out of the office. So now I have time to find something ethical and interesting.

I have 3 weeks left in my current job, and I have 2 weeks of vacation pay saved up. So, that gives me 5 weeks to find a new job before I even feel a pinch in the wallet. Totally doable. The longest it's ever taken me to find a new job when I actually put effort into looking is 2 weeks. (I don't know my secret; it's been serendipity every time.) I'll temp until I find something, so I don't have to worry about money. I'm still teaching at San Quentin, so I won't have a resume gap.

Logically, I should feel terrified about this change, but I don't. I feel free. I'm going to get a good night's sleep tonight for the first time in months, and I'm going to be able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. It's a new day!