Musical Instruments

I love music. I like to think I have a talent for it, but I've never liked practicing enough to get good at a particular instrument. I've dabbled a bit on the following instruments:

1) Cello. This was my first instrument. When I was in kindergarten we had an assembly at school where some musicians came to play and talk about their instruments. There was a cellist there. I was mesmerized, and I decided that I wanted to play the cello. In 4th grade, I had that chance when I joined the school orchestra. I was the only cellist at the school, so I had to sit in the violin class, but it was fun anyway. The cello was almost as big as I was, and I looked pretty silly carrying that thing home from school. I played for a year until we moved across town to a school that didn't have an orchestra.

2) Flute. I wanted to play the oboe. I had become interested in the oboe in 4th grade, just before I started playing the cello, and I decided that if I ever couldn't play the cello, it would be the oboe. In order to play the oboe, most people recommend that you play the clarinet first. So...when I moved to a school that only did wind instruments, I decided I wanted to play the clarinet for a year in preparation for the oboe. My mother, however, had other plans. She had played the clarinet as a child and didn't like it, so she figured that I wouldn't like it either. She said that if I wanted to play in the band that it had to be the flute. I wanted to be in the band, so I acquiesced. I wasn't very good at getting any sound out of the darn thing, so at the end of the school year, that was the end of my flute playing. (The funny aside to that is a few years later, my sister wanted to play the flute and my mom made her play the clarinet instead because I didn't like the flute. She ended up hating the clarinet. Go figure.)

3) Piano. When I was 14, my great-grandmother passed away, and we inherited her piano. My mom said that we all (me, my sister, and my mom--somehow my dad was off the hook on this one) had to take piano lessons for 6 months in order to keep the piano. I so did not want to take piano lessons. (I was still holding out hope for the oboe.) I already knew how to read both the treble and bass clef (bass from the cello, treble from the flute), so I had a leg up on that. At the end of 6 months, my sister quit lessons because she didn't like it, and my mom quit lessons because she was too busy. However, my mom made me take lessons for another 6 months. At the end of the year, I quit lessons because I didn't like it. My mom told me that I would regret quitting, and I told her I wouldn't.

4) Recorder. When I was 16, I decided to teach myself how to play the recorder. I started with the soprano recorder, but it sounded like a toy, so I switched to the tenor. This was the first instrument since the cello that I enjoyed playing. I picked it up pretty quickly and had a chance to play in church a few times. It sounds a bit like a flute, but it's pitched more like an oboe. In fact, since there is almost no recorder music available, I would often buy oboe music and play that. I still play every so often.

5) Organ. Remember how my mom said that I would regret quitting piano lessons? Well, she was right. I picked up the organ when I was about 18. (And boy was it heavy...) A family friend gave me a few lessons to get me started, and then I went to college. I started college as a music minor. (That quickly switched to philosophy, but that's a subject for another day.) Anyway, in order to minor in music, I had to take private music lessons on any instrument of my choice, and the recorder didn't count. Since I didn't own any musical instruments and I couldn't afford to buy one on a college student budget, I decided on the organ. There was only one organ teacher at the university, and so I began my lessons. He was totally full of himself and we didn't get along at all. At the end of the quarter, I switched to voice lessons. I still play the organ on occasion, and it's one of the instruments I enjoy. It's funny when people ask me about it, because I'm actually much more comfortable on the organ than the piano. Most people who play both tend to prefer the piano. I try to avoid the piano whenever possible because I'm just so bad at it. An organ covers a multitude of mistakes.

6) Bugle. When I was in college, I was in the ROTC (go Air Force!), and I was captain of the color guard. When we did ceremonies, we had this awful cd recording of a bugle player doing To the Color, Taps, etc. I figured I could do better, so I found a cheap bugle at an Army surplus store and attempted to play it. I couldn't figure out how to get different notes on it (there are no keys), so I ended up sounding like a weed whacker. Chalk that one up to experience. We kept using the cd.

7) Oboe. I finally fulfilled my childhood dream a few years ago and got an oboe off of eBay. I couldn't afford lessons, so I downloaded a fingering chart and dusted off the music I used for my recorder. It was hard at first, but I got to the point where I could play some very basic stuff. However, I got so busy that I never had time to play. Then I got to the point where I needed the money more than I needed the oboe, so I sold it to some kid in Wisconsin. (I love the internet.) Maybe someday I'll have the chance to try again.

There you have it. I'm not good at any instrument, but I have the distinction of being bad at seven of them. I would like to try the tympani at some point. I had a chance in college, but the timing was bad. The orchestra was doing Rodeo by Aaron Copland, and they needed tons of extra percussionists. They were willing to teach anyone who was willing to learn. I'm wishing I had taken them up on that offer.

Have you ever noticed how some instruments get associated with certain pieces of music? For example, I'm pretty sure that accordions are programmed to only be able to play Lady of Spain, and that bagpipes are programmed for your choice of either Amazing Grace or Scotland the Brave. A single banjo can play any number of American folk tunes, but if you get two of them together, they can only do Dueling Banjos. Violins are extremely versatile, but once you call it a fiddle, you're limited to Turkey in the Straw.