The Sexism of Father's Day Cards

I'm a bit of a procrastinator, so I didn't go shopping for my dad's Father's Day card until today on my lunch break. What I found at the store was, frankly, appalling.

I've often lamented that Father's Day gets short shrift. When compared with Mother's Day, it's almost treated like an afterthought. Moms get breakfast in bed, pampering, effusive praise in eloquent poetry, flowers, and elaborate gifts. Dads get ugly ties. This disparity is shown in the greeting card selection. For Mother's Day, there are scores of cards that extol the love and sacrifices mothers the world over give. When I went to pick out a card for my dad today, I saw scores of cards that painted men as lazy, crude, unemotional beer-swilling louts. Sure, the cards were intended to be humorous, but I found the stereotyping to be offensive.

It's easy to see how stereotyping like this can be harmful to men. It can be painful to be told that you're somehow less-than based upon an immutable characteristic that forms a significant part of your identity. Plus, people tend to live down to the expectations others set for them. However, this stereotyping is also harmful to women.

Take the different treatment of the two holidays. By making Mother's Day a bigger deal than Father's Day, our culture is sending a subtle signal that parenting is a female duty, but not a male one. It reminds me of so many men who refer to caring for their children while their female partner is away as "babysitting". Dude, if it's your own kid, it's not called babysitting. It's called being a parent! Men who are involved in their children's lives are praised as doing something extraordinary, whereas women are simply seen as doing what is obligatory.

This Father's Day, I'm grateful that my dad is not the man described in the cards. But, then again, most men aren't that man. For the sake of our husbands and fathers and brothers and sons, let's stamp out the notion that men are morally inferior. Let's also stamp out that notion for the sake of our wives and mothers and sisters and daughters. Sexism against anyone hurts everyone.

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Post Script: I had originally included more detail regarding how the belief in men's moral inferiority harms women outside the parenting context, but since this is a Father's Day post, I decided to confine it to parenting. For more information on the subject, you can check out Hugo Schwyzer's blog under the heading "Myth of Male Weakness". Hugo is a history and women's studies professor at Pasadena City College and a prominent Christian feminist blogger. I don't agree with his stance on abortion, but he's one of my favorite bloggers to read. The story of how he turned his life around is pretty amazing.