Six Lessons I Learned from Mom

In honor of Mother's Day, I'm writing this tribute to my mom. My mom was born in New Hampshire and was given the name Debra Lynn Carey. She lived in Vermont and Nebraska before moving to Utah to go to college. While in Utah, she met my dad. They got together because of their mutual interest in Star Trek. That's lesson 1 that I learned from Mom. Even nerds can get the guy. (Lesson 1b, which I guess I learned from both of my parents, is that if two people are meant to be together, they'll find each other, even if one of them was born in New Hampshire and the other one was born in California and they have to go to Utah of all places to meet.)

Mom's studies were interrupted by life, but I could always tell how much she valued education. When I was a kid, I would always hear her say that as soon as Jen was in kindergarten, she was going to go back to college and finish her degree. Her health became such that that wasn't an option, but she didn't let that stop her from learning. Mom always had a book in her hand wherever we went. Whenever she had a few spare minutes, she would always be reading. She loves educational television, and she's a fountain of historical trivia. (One day I would like to set up a game of Trivial Pursuit and pit her against my uncle with a PhD in history. No other players and no help from the outside. I bet it would be a close match.) Lesson 2 - Education is about more than just school.

Even though most of Mom's education was self-taught, she was insistent that I go to college. As a kid, it was always "when you go to college" not "if you go to college". I was probably 9 or 10 before I found out that college wasn't required in the same manner that K-12 is. I still remember the day I came home and shared that new bit of knowledge. I told her that I had just found out that college was optional. Her reply was, "Not for you." Lesson 3 - Even though education is about more than just school, school is still very important.

Mom was always there for me as a kid, but not in a smothery helicopter parent way. She had her own life, her own interests, and her own hobbies. She had an identity that was separate from her children. If I needed her, she was right there, but I was expected to do the work to try to solve my own problems. This helped me develop the coping skills to deal with real life. Lesson 4 - I'm important, but the world doesn't revolve around me.

Mom is the queen of modular furniture. I used to joke as a kid that she must be a space alien from the planet Ikea, because she can put furniture together in nothing flat. She doesn't even end up with extra pieces! When I first started law school, I discovered that I needed more space in my bedroom, so I got the idea to get a loft bed. (A loft bed is basically a bunk bed with no bottom bunk. The sleeping area is up high, and the space below is open for a desk or storage.) I obtained the lumber, the hardware, and the instructions. Mom stained the wood and put it all together. How cool is that? My mom built me a bed from real wood. I don't know many people who can do that. Lesson 5 - Some skills are rare, but they're still useful.

Mom is great at cooking. She has assembled a cookbook that is extremely popular. People are always asking her for it. Her dishes are eagerly anticipated at church potlucks and family gatherings. She likes cooking so much that she took some classes at the local cooking school. She made sure that I learned how to cook, too. I don't particularly enjoy cooking, but I'm grateful that I know how to do it. I'm not some gourmet chef or anything, but people say I'm good at it. Lesson 6 - If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well.

So, there you have it - six lessons I learned from my mom.
1. Even nerds can get the guy, and if it's meant to be, it will happen, even if it has to happen in a counter-intuitive manner.
2. Education is about more than just school.
3. School is very important.
4. I'm important, but the world doesn't revolve around me.
5. Some skills are rare, but they're still useful.
6. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well.

Thanks, Mom! Happy Mother's Day.