Many cultures believe that names have power. To know the name of a thing is to know something about its essence. My given name, Trudy, is old German for "spear maiden". I love this name because it reminds me that I can be simultaneously strong and feminine - I don't have to choose one or the other.
As people, our names connect us to our families by identifying us as members of a particular group or clan. I was named after both my mother and my father. When I came into this world, I was given the name Trudy Lynn Rushforth. Rushforth is my father's surname, and Lynn is my mother's middle name.
I have always claimed and honored the name given to me by my father. I decided as a teenager that when I marry, I will not change my name. It is my name and it is a part of me. [1] I'm ashamed to admit, however, that I have been less willing to embrace the name given to me by my mother. In my early twenties, I even went so far as to completely eliminate my middle name.
Over the past several months, this decision has weighed on my mind. I realized that by removing the part of my name that came from my mother, while tenaciously clinging to the part of my name that came from my father, I was offending the principles of gender equality which I profess to believe in. I was doing to my mother what has been done to women throughout history - I erased her.
No more. I am re-claiming my name. Allow me to introduce you to the new and improved Trudy Lynn Rushforth. [2]
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Footnotes:
[1] If it really becomes a sticking point with my future husband, I would be willing to hyphenate as a compromise.
[2] For professional purposes, I'm still going to use the name Trudy Rushforth. My name is already on the longish side, and full names are rarely used among women my age.
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